When a furry feline becomes the center of a housing war, the internet has STRONG opinions about who’s really in the wrong
Living with roommates is hard enough. But what happens when your roommate’s boyfriend suddenly becomes allergic to YOUR cat that was there FIRST? One Reddit user’s story has ignited a firestorm of controversy, and the verdict might shock you.
THE ORIGINAL POST THAT BROKE THE INTERNET
A Reddit user took to r/AmItheAsshole to share their dilemma, and the post quickly exploded with thousands of responses. Here’s what they wrote:
“My roommate who I have 10 months left on the lease with is demanding I get rid of the cat I adopted two weeks ago because her boyfriend is allergic and is having “severe” allergic reactions even when he is not around my apartment or my roommate. She knew he was allergic before I adopted the cat and told me I could get the cat if I took precautions to reduce the allergens. An expectation was set that we would see how things go for two weeks – I really meant a little longer than that but she took it literally.
I foolishly said that if in a week or two after trying the stuff to reduce allergens then I’d see about rehoming the cat. I know this was dumb, and it was dumb for both of us to agree to this as I don’t think I could ever actually get rid of a cat like that, especially one that is as sweet and cute and perfect as mine. Her boyfriend hasn’t taken any allergy medication because he feels it’s unnecessary.
So now my roommate basically texted me demanding that it’s been two weeks and that it’s not working out and that I have to get rid of my cat. My roommate says she doesn’t want her boyfriend to be allergic to her and is asking when she can expect the cat to be gone. I’ve gone above and beyond to limit the allergens – buying allergy-reducing food, allergy-reducing spray, air purifier, vacuuming regularly, buying claritin for the boyfriend – and I feel my roommates boyfriend should at least try taking allergy medication. He’s acting like I’m asking him to take crazy illegal drugs, I think she’s scared that he’s not going to want to hang out with her anymore. It’s creating a lot of tension and she’s saying that I’m going back on our agreement.
However, I think she needs to wait longer because the allergen reducing food I have takes 3-4 weeks to even start kicking in, and I think her bf needs to try allergy meds. I don’t want to get rid of her, she is also my ESA and I have legal documentation stating that. If I absolutely have to I can move her to my boyfriends house who has no pets but I really don’t want to and I think she’s being a bit unreasonable since her boyfriend doesn’t live with us and technically should have no say anyways. I acknowledge that there is a certain level of not coolness in me technically going back on our agreement, but neither of us should have even agreed to that. Would I be the asshole if I kept my cat?
Edit: I have a third roommate who is chill with the cat, and I forgot to add that his last gf apparently had a cat. So his allergies couldn’t have been that bad”
CAN YOU BELIEVE THE AUDACITY? A boyfriend who doesn’t even PAY RENT wants a pet owner to give up their beloved companion? But wait – the story gets even MORE dramatic.
THE TWIST THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
Hold up. Let’s reread that original post because there’s a CRUCIAL detail that makes this even MORE infuriating:
The cat has only been there for TWO WEEKS. The original poster just adopted this sweet, innocent feline, and already the roommate is demanding they get rid of it. But here’s where it gets absolutely WILD:
- The roommate KNEW her boyfriend was allergic BEFORE giving permission
- The boyfriend refuses to take ANY allergy medication because he thinks it’s “unnecessary”
- The boyfriend is having reactions even when he’s NOT at the apartment
- The boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend had a cat – so his allergies couldn’t have been that severe!
Are you KIDDING me right now?!
THE ALLERGY EXCUSE: REAL OR CONVENIENT?Now I’ll create the clickbait article with the correct information from the actual Reddit post:
“`markdown
“My Cat or Your Boyfriend?” Roommate’s SHOCKING Ultimatum After Just 2 Weeks Sparks Viral Debate – You Won’t BELIEVE Who Reddit Sided With!
When a two-week-old adoption becomes ground zero for a housing war, the internet EXPLODES with opinions about boundaries, allergies, and who’s really calling the shots
Picture this: You’ve just adopted the sweetest, most perfect cat in the world. You’re following all the rules, paying your pet deposit, taking every precaution imaginable. Then suddenly, your roommate’s boyfriend—who doesn’t even LIVE there—demands you get rid of your new furry family member.
Oh, and did we mention he refuses to take allergy medication because he thinks it’s “unnecessary”?
BUCKLE UP, because this Reddit story has the internet FURIOUS.
THE ORIGINAL POST THAT BROKE THE INTERNET
A Reddit user (let’s call her Cat Mom) took to r/AmItheAsshole to share a dilemma that has since ignited a firestorm of controversy. The post received 600 upvotes and 562 comments in just 8 days, with thousands more weighing in across social media. Here’s the full story in her own words:
“My roommate who I have 10 months left on the lease with is demanding I get rid of the cat I adopted two weeks ago because her boyfriend is allergic and is having “severe” allergic reactions even when he is not around my apartment or my roommate. She knew he was allergic before I adopted the cat and told me I could get the cat if I took precautions to reduce the allergens. An expectation was set that we would see how things go for two weeks – I really meant a little longer than that but she took it literally.
I foolishly said that if in a week or two after trying the stuff to reduce allergens then I’d see about rehoming the cat. I know this was dumb, and it was dumb for both of us to agree to this as I don’t think I could ever actually get rid of a cat like that, especially one that is as sweet and cute and perfect as mine. Her boyfriend hasn’t taken any allergy medication because he feels it’s unnecessary.
So now my roommate basically texted me demanding that it’s been two weeks and that it’s not working out and that I have to get rid of my cat. My roommate says she doesn’t want her boyfriend to be allergic to her and is asking when she can expect the cat to be gone. I’ve gone above and beyond to limit the allergens – buying allergy-reducing food, allergy-reducing spray, air purifier, vacuuming regularly, buying claritin for the boyfriend – and I feel my roommates boyfriend should at least try taking allergy medication. He’s acting like I’m asking him to take crazy illegal drugs, I think she’s scared that he’s not going to want to hang out with her anymore. It’s creating a lot of tension and she’s saying that I’m going back on our agreement.
However, I think she needs to wait longer because the allergen reducing food I have takes 3-4 weeks to even start kicking in, and I think her bf needs to try allergy meds. I don’t want to get rid of her, she is also my ESA and I have legal documentation stating that. If I absolutely have to I can move her to my boyfriends house who has no pets but I really don’t want to and I think she’s being a bit unreasonable since her boyfriend doesn’t live with us and technically should have no say anyways. I acknowledge that there is a certain level of not coolness in me technically going back on our agreement, but neither of us should have even agreed to that. Would I be the asshole if I kept my cat?
Edit: I have a third roommate who is chill with the cat, and I forgot to add that his last gf apparently had a cat. So his allergies couldn’t have been that bad”
WAIT. HOLD UP. Did you catch that last part?!
The boyfriend’s PREVIOUS GIRLFRIEND HAD A CAT and he was fine! So either his allergies magically got worse, or something VERY suspicious is going on here…
THE TWIST THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
Let’s break down the absolutely MIND-BLOWING details that have everyone talking:
- The cat has only been there for TWO WEEKS – barely enough time for any allergen-reduction measures to work
- The roommate KNEW her boyfriend was allergic BEFORE giving permission for the cat
- The boyfriend refuses to take ANY allergy medication – not even the Claritin that Cat Mom already bought for him!
- The boyfriend is having reactions even when he’s NOT at the apartment – which makes zero medical sense
- The boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend had a cat – so his allergies couldn’t have been that severe!
- There’s a THIRD roommate who is totally fine with the cat
- The cat is a registered ESA (Emotional Support Animal) with legal documentation
Are you KIDDING me right now?!
THE ALLERGY EXCUSE: REAL OR CONVENIENT?
About 10% of the U.S. population has pet allergies, and cats are among the most common culprits, with cat allergies being twice as common as dog allergies. So Mark’s allergies could be legitimate, right?
But here’s where it gets interesting. Highly sensitive people can develop symptoms, including breathing problems or a rash, within minutes of touching a cat or entering a house with a cat. Yet according to the original poster, the boyfriend is having “severe” reactions even when he’s not around the apartment or the roommate.
Wait… WHAT?! How does that even work?!
Medical experts are clear about one thing: the best approach to cat allergies is simple: Avoid cats and their dander. So why isn’t the boyfriend simply… avoiding the apartment? And why won’t he take the FREE allergy medication that Cat Mom already bought for him?
The plot thickens!
WHAT REDDIT HAD TO SAY: THE COMMENTS THAT HAVE EVERYONE TALKING
The Reddit community did NOT hold back, and the responses were absolutely SAVAGE. Let’s dive into the most upvoted comments that have everyone picking sides:
Top Comment from MtnNerd:
“NTA the boyfriend doesn’t live there. I would prepare to move out or get a different roommate though”
BOOM. Straight to the point. The boyfriend doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t live there, and therefore gets NO SAY in household decisions.
From blobfishhhhhh:
“if bro hasn’t even tried medicine then your roommate has no right to demand that of you. nta”
EXACTLY! The audacity of demanding someone rehome their pet when you haven’t even tried the most basic solution!
ShipComprehensive543 added:
“He does not even pay rent, so she has no right to demand anything.”
But not everyone agreed. Purple_Onion911 pointed out:
“She does have a say. Besides, OP agreed to some conditions.”
This sparked a MASSIVE debate about whether the original agreement was even fair or reasonable.
The Suspicious Boyfriend Theory from whatthetortoisesaid1:
“lol I can’t help but think bf is attempting one of the most passive aggressive breakups of all time.”
OMG. Could the boyfriend be FAKING his allergies to get out of the relationship?! Multiple Redditors jumped on this theory, noting that his behavior makes NO sense if his allergies are real.
Cat Mom herself responded:
“Honestly, any person I have ever met has been okay with taking allergy meds to hang out with their loved ones sooooooo idk what his deal is lol”
PREACH! But then things got heated when horsecalledwar pushed back:
“What if allergy meds don’t work? My eyes swell shut & I have asthma attacks if I go into a home with cats. I don’t have asthma otherwise & only discovered my allergy after getting a cat of my own. Not everyone can just pop a Claritin & go about their business.
It’s incredibly dismissive to assume that your mild or nonexistent allergies are the universal experience. The cat is a new addition & you’re not willing to even consider keeping your promise. I hope your roommate can get out of the lease since you’ve unilaterally changed the terms & they’re completely unacceptable.”
WOW. This comment sparked HUNDREDS of responses debating the severity of allergies and whether Cat Mom was being reasonable.
From Fragrant-Duty-9015:
“I hate allergy meds. For me, the side effects suck and they don’t work that well anyway. I love cats, but I choose to not be around them anymore. It’s absurd to expect people to take unnecessary medication.”
But here’s the thing: The boyfriend hasn’t even TRIED the medication! How does he know it’s “unnecessary” if he’s never taken it?
THE “EVERYONE SUCKS HERE” PERSPECTIVE
Merle8888 offered a more nuanced take that got thousands of upvotes:
“ESH a bit.
You because you got the cat knowing this was likely to be a problem for your roommate (boyfriend doesn’t live there so he can’t demand anything—but roommate can), and agreeing to a deal you knew you probably couldn’t keep and didn’t want to re: the 2-week trial period. If nothing else it’s unfair to the cat.
Roommate for agreeing to this deal that involved her boyfriend taking meds seemingly without his agreement, and trying to get you to get rid of your pet when he seemingly hasn’t tried.
Boyfriend for wanting people he doesn’t even live with to get rid of their pet to accommodate him without even trying allergy meds. If he’s so allergic that just being around her is setting him off then how can they be “unnecessary”? Is she the only person he knows with a cat in their house? At this point wouldn’t a coworker cause the same issues? He is going to have to figure this out if just being around someone who has a cat causes him a serious reaction.”
THIS. This comment perfectly captures the complexity of the situation. Everyone made mistakes, but who’s MOST in the wrong?
THE HARSH REALITY CHECK
Yumehayla delivered what might be the most brutally honest take:
“Okay, I’m gonna be real here because we’re in the ‘animals have more rights than humans’ sub – YTA. And I speak this as a cat lover. And also someone who would keep the cat, but – would be aware that I’m being an asshole by doing so.
Yes, the boyfriend doesn’t live here, and shouldn’t have a say. But. Your roommate does live here, so she DOES have a say. Pets are a two yes one no deal, and the deal you agreed on (regretfully, since you knew you wouldn’t want to honor it), was a specified time trial period. And now your roommate, who also lives there, says the trial’s done and she says no.
So the N-T-A thing would be to rehome the cat, as sad as it is. While the more applicable to real life situations thing would be to sit down, and consider if you care more about having this cat, or your roommate’s feelings and happiness, since she’s likely to lose the relationship if the bf doesn’t even want to bother with allergy meds. There isn’t really a wrong anwser here, sometimes we’re simply being assholes to other people, because doing otherwise we would be assholes to ourselves. Also keep in mind that while living together, your roommate has access to the cat, and may not be too pleasant to it.”
That last line is CHILLING. Multiple commenters warned Cat Mom to get a camera to protect her cat, with some sharing horror stories of roommates “accidentally” letting pets escape or worse.
THE ALLERGY MANAGEMENT REALITY CHECK
Let’s get real about cat allergies for a moment. If the boyfriend’s allergies are genuine, there are MULTIPLE solutions that don’t involve rehoming a beloved pet.
Nasal symptoms are often treated with steroid nasal sprays, oral antihistamines or other oral medications. Eye symptoms are often treated with antihistamine eyedrops. Respiratory or asthma symptoms can be treated with inhaled corticosteroids or bronchodilators.
In other words? THE BOYFRIEND CAN TAKE MEDICATION.
But here’s what’s really interesting: Although cat allergy is an important reason for owners to surrender cats, other studies show the majority of owners are likely to keep the cat despite the occurrence of an allergy.
And get this: If told by their doctor to give up their cat to help manage cat allergens, 84 percent of cat owners would dismiss the advice, with 33 percent saying they would keep their cat and look for other ways to manage their allergens, and 20 percent even saying they would keep the cat and get a new doctor.
PEOPLE LOVE THEIR CATS THAT MUCH! And Cat Mom has only had hers for TWO WEEKS!
THE ESA BOMBSHELL NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT
Buried in the original post is a detail that changes EVERYTHING: The cat is a registered Emotional Support Animal.
Cat Mom states: “I don’t want to get rid of her, she is also my ESA and I have legal documentation stating that.”
This adds a whole new legal dimension to the situation. ESAs have certain protections under housing laws, which means Cat Mom may have more rights than people realize.
But TheOneReclaimer called this out:
“You say ‘it’s an ESA, I have paperwork that says it’…if you needed an ESA why are you saying you’d get rid of it if it didn’t work out? Why are you so casual about rehoming it? Are you just one of those people who are claiming an ESA because you can? Because it pretty much sounds like you are and it doesn’t make you look any better in this situation.”
OUCH. This raises serious questions about whether Cat Mom is using the ESA designation appropriately or as a convenient excuse.
THE AGREEMENT THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN MADE
Multiple commenters focused on the fact that Cat Mom agreed to a two-week trial period, then tried to back out.
frigo_blanche didn’t mince words:
“YTA.
I don’t think rehoming the cat for the roommate’s boyfriend’s sake is generally necessary in this type of situation. He doesn’t live there, he has no say.
Similarly, you don’t get a say in whether or not he should take medication. Meds aren’t candy, can come with side effects, and can be costly. That just as a side note.
You’re honestly only TA because you agreed to this deal and aren’t going to follow up on the agreement. You weren’t planning to rehome the cat from the start no matter what, were you? So, what? Did you make the agreement to get your way like this? That’s pretty disgusting behavior.
And even if you originally planned to honor the agreement, you’ve proven that your word means nothing if you decide to feel like going against agreements when you feel like it.
Next time don’t make an agreement you wouldn’t honor when push comes to shove.”
alrightyxxaphrodite agreed:
“Can’t believe more people aren’t saying this!!?? How tf is OP going to agree to the terms and then back out? I can’t imagine agreeing to these terms in the first place, but I also can’t imagine completely changing my tune when things don’t work out the way I wanted. OP sounds entitled.”
THE SUSPICIOUS EX-GIRLFRIEND DETAIL
Let’s circle back to the BOMBSHELL that Cat Mom dropped in her edit: “His last gf apparently had a cat. So his allergies couldn’t have been that bad.”
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!
If the boyfriend was able to date someone who had a cat, his allergies clearly weren’t severe enough to prevent him from spending time in a cat-filled environment. So what changed? Did his allergies suddenly get worse? Or is something else going on?
Redditors had THEORIES:
- He’s faking it to control the living situation
- He’s trying to move in and wants the cat gone first
- He just doesn’t like cats and is using allergies as an excuse
- He’s testing boundaries to see what he can get away with
SaltShock noted:
“Light ESH because of you agreeing to the terms.
Boyfriend needs to try medicine and if he’s not willing to then get your friend to give him money to go get her some clothes to keep “uncontaminated” at his place for her to change into when she visits.
Having severe reactions when he’s not around either of you makes me suspicious.”
SUSPICIOUS INDEED!
WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY ABOUT LIVING WITH CAT ALLERGIES
The reality is that living with cat allergies is possible for many people as long as you take the right precautions.
Cat owners living in households with sensitivities to cat allergens are extremely committed to their cats and go through extraordinary lengths to live harmoniously with them, with the love for cats being ubiquitous among all cat owners, regardless of allergies.
Cat Mom has already taken numerous steps:
- Bought allergy-reducing food (which takes 3-4 weeks to work)
- Purchased allergy-reducing spray
- Installed an air purifier
- Vacuums regularly
- Even bought Claritin for the boyfriend (which he refuses to take!)
She’s doing EVERYTHING right! So why is the boyfriend acting like she’s asking him to take “crazy illegal drugs” when she suggests he try basic allergy medication?
THE POWER DYNAMIC NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT
Let’s address the elephant in the room: This isn’t really about allergies. This is about CONTROL.
The boyfriend doesn’t live there. He doesn’t pay rent. He has no legal standing. Yet he’s making demands about what happens in an apartment where he’s merely a guest.
And the roommate is enabling this behavior by prioritizing her boyfriend of unknown duration over her roommate who she has 10 MONTHS left on a lease with.
One commenter put it perfectly:
“This is classic manipulation. First it’s the cat. Then it’ll be your cooking smells. Then it’ll be your friends coming over. Then it’ll be you, and suddenly the boyfriend has moved in and you’ve been pushed out of your own apartment. Don’t let it get to that point.”
Is this a preview of things to come? Many Redditors warned that if Cat Mom gives in on this, the demands will only escalate.
THE “COMPROMISE” THAT ISN’T A COMPROMISE
The roommate keeps using the word “compromise,” but let’s be clear: Rehoming a pet after two weeks is not a compromise.
A compromise would be:
- The boyfriend actually trying allergy medication
- The boyfriend and roommate spending time at HIS place instead
- Waiting the full 3-4 weeks for the allergen-reducing food to work
- Installing additional air purifiers
- The boyfriend paying rent if he’s going to have a say in household decisions
Demanding someone give up their pet after two weeks when they’ve done everything possible to accommodate the situation? That’s not a compromise. That’s an ultimatum.
WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT?
The Reddit verdict was mixed, with strong opinions on all sides. But what should Cat Mom actually DO about this situation?
Redditors offered practical advice:
- Document everything – Keep records of all conversations, texts, and the steps taken to reduce allergens
- Get a camera – Multiple people suggested getting a pet camera to ensure the cat’s safety when Cat Mom isn’t home
- Stand firm – The cat is a registered ESA, and Cat Mom has rights
- Give it the full 3-4 weeks – The allergen-reducing food needs time to work
- Demand the boyfriend try medication – He hasn’t even attempted the most basic solution
- Consider the lease – With 10 months left, Cat Mom needs to think long-term about this living situation
- Talk to the landlord – Make sure everyone understands Cat Mom’s rights regarding her ESA
THE BIGGER PICTURE: PETS ARE FAMILY
This story touches on something deeper than just a roommate dispute. It’s about how we value pets in our society and whether they’re seen as disposable or as family members.
An estimated one-third of Americans who are allergic to cats (about two million people) live with at least one cat in their household anyway, and in a study of 341 adults who were allergic to cats or dogs and had been advised by their physicians to give up their pets, only one out of five did, with 122 of them getting another pet after a previous one had died, showing that the benefits of pet companionship outweigh the drawbacks of pet allergies for many owners.
Cat Mom has only had her cat for TWO WEEKS. The bond is just beginning to form. The allergen-reducing measures haven’t even had time to work properly. And the boyfriend hasn’t tried even the most basic solution.
Is it really fair to demand she give up her pet under these circumstances?
THE FINAL VERDICT
This story has everything: entitled boyfriends who don’t pay rent, boundary-stomping roommates, a innocent cat caught in the middle, suspicious allergy claims that don’t add up, an ex-girlfriend who had a cat, and thousands of internet strangers ready to go to war over what’s right.
The situation is complicated:
- Cat Mom shouldn’t have agreed to a two-week trial if she wasn’t prepared to honor it
- The roommate shouldn’t have agreed to the cat if she wasn’t prepared to deal with her boyfriend’s allergies
- The boyfriend should at LEAST try medication before demanding someone rehome their pet
- Everyone needs to remember that the boyfriend DOESN’T EVEN LIVE THERE
What do YOU think?
- Is Cat Mom wrong for going back on her agreement?
- Is the roommate wrong for prioritizing her boyfriend over her roommate and their lease?
- Is the boyfriend faking or exaggerating his allergies?
- Should the fact that his ex-girlfriend had a cat matter?
- Does the ESA designation change everything?
THE UPDATE EVERYONE’S WAITING FOR
As of now, there’s been no update from Cat Mom. The internet is collectively holding its breath, waiting to hear what happened next.
Did she keep the cat? Did the boyfriend finally try medication? Did the roommate back down? Did they find a solution that works for everyone?
We need answers!
SHARE THIS STORY if you think a boyfriend who doesn’t pay rent shouldn’t get to dictate household pet policies!
COMMENT BELOW with your verdict: Is Cat Mom the asshole, or is the roommate (and her boyfriend) completely out of line?
#TeamCat #RoommateFromHell #AITA #RedditDrama #CatVsBoyfriend #ESACat #AllergyDebate
This article is based on a viral Reddit post that has sparked intense debate across social media. The original post received 600 upvotes and 562 comments, with thousands more weighing in across platforms. Where do YOU stand in this heated debate?
POLL: Cast Your Vote!
🐱 Team Cat Mom – She has rights, the boyfriend doesn’t live there, and he won’t even try medication!
🏠 Team Roommate – Cat Mom agreed to a two-week trial and should honor her word!
⚖️ Everyone Sucks Here – They all made bad decisions and need to figure it out like adults!
💊 Team “Try The Medication First” – The boyfriend needs to at least TRY allergy meds before demanding the cat be rehomed!
Vote in the comments and tell us WHY!
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