Relationships are built on trust, but what happens when that trust is shattered — and then tested all over again? A recent post on r/AITAH has gone viral after a wife shared her dilemma: her husband, who cheated on her during a supposed “mental health solo trip” last year, now wants to revisit the exact same destination alone.
She’s put her foot down, telling him plainly: if he goes, the marriage is over. But is she being unreasonable?
The Original Post
Title: AITAH for telling my husband I’ll leave if he goes on his solo vacation?
“To give some context: last year, my husband took a trip to another country under the guise of a solo mental health vacation. In reality, he was having an affair and met up with another woman.
Fast forward a year. We’ve both been trying to work on things individually and as a couple. Recently, he mentioned wanting to return to that same country, saying he loved it and needs a mental break from work, kids, finances…
He insists his intentions are different this time and promises he’s not going back for the same reasons. Still, I told him no. I don’t feel comfortable with it, and I’ve made it clear that if he goes, I will leave. He thinks I’m being unreasonable. So am I being an asshole? He’s making me feel like I’m just being overly dramatic.”
Reddit’s Verdict
If the wife hoped for validation, she certainly got it. The comment section lit up with thousands of responses, nearly unanimous in their support. Here’s a snapshot of the community’s strongest reactions:
“Cheating destroys trust.”
User thatOneBl1p delivered the most-upvoted response, racking up over 9,000 upvotes:
“Cheating destroys trust in a relationship and it takes work to get it back. He doesn’t seem to realize the gravity of what he’s done if he thinks you’ll just shrug your shoulders at another ‘solo vacation’ when he’s using the same excuses as last time. NTA. This is a fair dealbreaker.”
“When do you get your break, OP?”
User whybother_incertname pointed out the double standard:
“When does OP get a solo vaca & he’s the one who cares for the kids?? Betcha never. He’s proven he’s untrustworthy. Go on a trip yourself, OP, & find a better man.”
“You’re not being dramatic — you’re being disrespected.”
Commenter Dependent-Fee-3671 summed it up bluntly:
“This is a pretty open and shut case, OP. You can’t stop him from going, but you are under no obligation to abide his incredibly thoughtless, callous, and disrespectful decision. It’s a miracle you stayed in the first place. Go find someone who appreciates you and adds to your love and your life.”
“Mental health trip? Or excuse to cheat again?”
Another top comment by Normal_Air7231 pointed out the hypocrisy:
“Even if he was only going for mental health, he’s inconsiderate (at the very least) to go to the same place by himself that he went to when having an affair. If the tables were turned, there’s no way he’d be okay with you doing that.”
The harsher takes
Some commenters didn’t hold back.
- FartMasterChamp: “He just thinks you’re a doormat who won’t leave no matter how much he mistreats you. Have some self respect and leave.”
- XanderKingdom: “He’s going to cheat. Get your affairs in order and have him served at the airport when he returns.”
The Bigger Picture
The consensus was crystal clear: trust, once broken, requires careful repair — not reckless testing. The husband’s decision to revisit the same location under the same excuse signaled either complete disregard for his wife’s feelings or outright intent to repeat his betrayal.
While some outsiders acknowledged the possibility of genuine mental health struggles, nearly all agreed the husband’s choice was inconsiderate and disrespectful at best, manipulative at worst.
Final Word
Reddit’s judgment: NTA (Not the Asshole).
If anything, commenters felt the wife had been more patient than most people would be in her position. Whether the husband goes on his trip or not, the overwhelming advice was simple: she deserves better than someone who risks repeating old wounds.