Dooshnozzle

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  • He Played the Perfect Boyfriend Until She Slept With Him—Then His True Colors EXPLODED

    Woman Shares Chilling Story of How a Man’s Mask Slipped the Morning After Intimacy, and the Internet Is FURIOUS

    You won’t BELIEVE what happened next.

    We’ve all heard the warnings. We’ve all been told to “watch out” and “trust your gut.” But when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of a new romance—the thoughtful dates, the good morning texts, the genuine laughter—it’s easy to dismiss those nagging doubts as paranoia.

    One woman’s story is now going viral on Reddit, and it’s sparking a firestorm of rage across the internet. Her experience is a stark reminder that some men will wear a mask of perfection just long enough to get what they want—and the moment they do, the facade crumbles.

    Here’s her full story, in her own words:

    “I was dating this guy last year, and in the beginning, it felt like everything was falling into place. He was attentive, funny, and made me feel cared for. We went on thoughtful dates, he’d text me good morning, and he really seemed to be putting in effort.

    After about a month, I felt comfortable enough to invite him over and spend the night. The next morning, though, his whole energy shifted. It’s hard to describe, but it felt like he had crossed some “finish line” in his mind.

    He stopped being curious about me. Instead of asking about my day, he made comments like, “You really like being in control, don’t you? With your little apartment and your organized life.” At first I thought he was joking, but the tone was different. More smug than playful.

    Over the next few weeks, it became even clearer. He didn’t plan dates anymore- he just expected to come over. He acted less invested, like intimacy meant he no longer had to try. And sometimes, he’d say things that felt intentionally diminishing, like he wanted to knock me down a peg.

    That was the moment it clicked: he hadn’t been showing me his real self at all. He had been performing, waiting to “get what he wanted,” and once he did, the mask slipped.

    So I ended it. And honestly, I felt relief more than sadness. I realized how important it is to pay attention not just to how someone treats you before intimacy, but how they act after. That’s when you see who they really are.

    I’m sharing this because I wish someone had told me sooner. If you feel that sudden shift- trust your gut. Love should feel safe and steady, not like someone conquered you.”

    The Gut-Wrenching Reality: She Was Love Bombed

    If this story makes your blood boil, you’re not alone. Thousands of Reddit users flooded the comments section, many sharing eerily similar experiences. But what exactly happened here? Experts have a name for it: love bombing followed by devaluation.

    Love bombing is a red flag because it’s a frequent indicator of further and escalating psychological and physical violence. According to Dr. Jerimya Fox, a licensed professional counselor, love bombing is “a manipulation technique used most often by narcissists” to “gain control and power over someone.”

    Love bombing is often a tactic used by people with manipulative tendencies or narcissistic traits, with the goal to create an intense emotional bond quickly, making the other person feel “special” and dependent on their validation, which over time can create an unhealthy dynamic.

    Sound familiar? The “thoughtful dates,” the constant texting, the effort that seemed so genuine—it was all part of a calculated performance.

    Why Do Men Change After Sex? The Science Is DISTURBING

    The shift this woman experienced isn’t just anecdotal—there’s actual science behind why some men lose interest after intimacy. And it’s infuriating.

    When men have sex very early on in a relationship, they often lose interest quickly because when he completes the sexual act, he experiences a drop in dopamine and vasopressin levels, known as the “Coolidge Effect,” and when his testosterone levels are high enough that they block the effects of oxytocin, there’s nothing keeping him attached to the relationship any longer.

    But here’s where it gets even MORE enraging: the real reason men lose interest after sex is because they literally don’t feel enough non-physical attraction, or the non-physical attraction diminished after sex because the woman started acting differently.

    Wait—so it’s HER fault now? The victim-blaming is REAL, folks.

    The Comments Section ERUPTED

    Reddit users were NOT having it. The comment section became a battleground of perspectives, with many women sharing their own horror stories and men… well, some men showed exactly why this keeps happening.

    One commenter wrote: “Go full on 4B = No dating. No sex. No marriage. No childbirth.”

    The frustration is palpable. Women are literally considering swearing off men entirely because of experiences like this.

    But then came the gaslighting comments that made everyone’s blood pressure skyrocket:

    “Post nut clarity is mad” wrote one user, treating the woman’s emotional devastation as a JOKE.

    Another infuriating take: “All these comments feel like nicegirl comments. The dude being kind of a dick sucks but this tells me op and dude weren’t compatible sexually.”

    EXCUSE ME? This woman was emotionally manipulated, and somehow the conversation gets twisted into “sexual compatibility”? The audacity is STUNNING.

    One user even had the nerve to ask: “Did you plan dates as well?”—immediately trying to shift blame onto the victim. (This comment got downvoted into oblivion, as it should have been.)

    The REAL Red Flags Everyone Needs to Know

    According to recent research, people want all the benefits of a relationship—care, respect, dates, and physical intimacy—but are unwilling to commit, and women who lower their standards so much become so vulnerable and available that men begin to think that asking for the bare minimum is asking too much.

    This is the dating hellscape we’re living in, people.

    A guy might want to be intimate with you, but he is not ready for a relationship, and one fact about guys is it might be hard to tell if they are in love with you or if they want to satisfy their physical needs.

    The signs were there from the beginning:

    • Moving too fast emotionally
    • Excessive attention and flattery
    • Suddenly shifting behavior after getting what he wanted
    • Diminishing comments designed to lower her self-esteem
    • Expecting her to accommodate him without reciprocation

    If someone is declaring their love after only a few dates or sharing personal details too quickly, it’s important to slow down and assess whether their actions are coming from a genuine place, and pay attention to whether their behavior remains consistent over time or if they pull back after securing your attention, because true, healthy relationships grow gradually and at a comfortable pace.

    The Aftermath: Why This Story Matters

    This woman did something incredibly brave—she trusted her instincts and LEFT. But how many women stay, hoping the “old him” will come back? How many convince themselves they’re being “too sensitive” or “overthinking”?

    Ghosting and sudden behavioral changes provide no closure, leaving the other person full of unanswered questions, often internalizing blame, and psychologists note that social rejection triggers the same brain pathways as physical pain, meaning being ghosted truly hurts.

    The psychological damage of this kind of manipulation is REAL and LASTING.

    What Can You Do?

    If you’re reading this and seeing yourself in this story, here’s what experts say:

    1. Trust the shift. If someone’s behavior changes dramatically after intimacy, that’s not in your head—it’s a red flag.
    2. Don’t blame yourself. The reason men lose interest after sex has nothing to do with when you sleep with them.
    3. Watch how they handle boundaries. Set and respect your personal boundaries, and when a new partner is appearing too keen too quick, watching how they respond to your boundaries will help you see their true colors.
    4. Stay connected to your life. Don’t let anyone isolate you from friends, family, or your own interests—no matter how “in love” they claim to be.

    The Bottom Line

    This story is enraging because it’s NOT an isolated incident. It’s a pattern. It’s a game. And women are TIRED of playing it.

    Today’s singles under 45 struggle with a mix of emotions: They are overly picky about whom they’ll date but also deeply insecure about their face-to-face dating skills and utterly confused about when and how sex fits into the experience.

    The modern dating landscape is a minefield, and stories like this prove that sometimes the biggest danger isn’t being alone—it’s being with someone who was never really there in the first place.

    To the woman who shared her story: Thank you. Your courage to speak up might just save someone else from the same heartbreak.

    To everyone else: Pay attention. The mask always slips eventually. The question is—will you be watching when it does?

    What do YOU think? Have you experienced something similar? Drop your stories in the comments below—and don’t hold back.

  • “I Heard Footsteps Above Me at 2AM” — Woman’s Nightmare Discovery in Her Attic Will Make You Check Yours TONIGHT

    A stranger had been watching her sleep, eating her food, and taking photos for MONTHS. The deputy’s words will haunt you forever.

    You think you’re safe in your own home? Think again.

    A Reddit user’s terrifying confession has sent shockwaves through the internet, and honestly, after reading this, you’ll never feel safe in your house again. What started as minor forgetfulness turned into every homeowner’s worst nightmare — and it could be happening to YOU right now.

    THE ORIGINAL POST THAT’S KEEPING PEOPLE UP AT NIGHT:

    The Portland-area woman, posting under the username Top-Somewhere-5251, shared her bone-chilling experience on r/stories just days ago:

    “So this happened just a few weeks ago and I still don’t know how to process it. I live alone in a small town just outside Portland, Oregon. It’s one of those quiet, tree-covered neighborhoods where nothing crazy ever really happens. I moved in about 8 months ago after a breakup, hoping the peace and quiet would help me reset. For a while, everything was peaceful. Until I started noticing small things out of place. A cereal box I was sure I finished. The TV remote in a different spot. At first, I chalked it up to stress. Maybe I was just being forgetful.

    Then one night, I came home from work later than usual. As I was unlocking my front door, I heard a faint thump from inside. It sounded like it came from above. I froze. I stood there, key still in the lock, listening. Dead silence. I went inside cautiously, turned all the lights on, checked every room. Nothing. No signs of a break-in. I tried to brush it off, but something felt… off.

    Fast forward two nights later, around 2am, I woke up to what sounded like soft footsteps above me. In the attic. Heart pounding, I grabbed the baseball bat I keep next to my bed and went up to check. When I opened the attic door, I swear I felt a wave of cold air rush past me. The hairs on my arms stood up. I climbed up and looked around with a flashlight…There were empty food wrappers. A sleeping bag. And worst of all, photos of me—sleeping, cooking, watching TV.

    I ran out and called the cops immediately. They came, searched the place, and found a man still hiding behind some old boxes. I don’t want to describe what he looked like, because honestly, it’s giving me nightmares. He didn’t say a word. Just stared at me while they dragged him out. Later, the officers told me he might’ve been living up there for months without me knowing. They said it’s not the first time something like this has happened.”

    Let that sink in. MONTHS. He was there for MONTHS.

    THIS ISN’T JUST A HORROR MOVIE — IT’S CALLED “PHROGGING” AND IT’S HAPPENING MORE THAN YOU THINK

    Phrogging is when someone secretly lives in another person’s home without their knowledge, and according to experts, phroggers manage to remain hidden for weeks or even months before being discovered.

    Crime Investigation UK notes that “while undeniably rare, phrogging is very much a thing”, with confirmed cases of people hiding in attics, basements, and crawl spaces across the country. And get this — cities like New York, Los Angeles, and Miami tend to experience more frequent reports of phrogging incidents.

    But Portland? Authorities recently discovered a man who had been living for some time in the crawl space of a condo near Portland, Oregon, that had been outfitted with various items, including lights, chargers and a bed. This isn’t an isolated incident. It’s a PATTERN.

    THE REDDIT COMMUNITY IS FREAKING OUT — AND THEY SHOULD BE

    The comments section exploded with a mixture of horror, disbelief, and people sharing their own terrifying experiences:

    jennypurplethefirst chimed in: “I watched a programme about this, there’s a name for it which I can’t remember right now. But yes, it’s a thing, a fucked up crazy thing, and people who do it are horrible. I hope you’re ok”

    Another user, Flutter-Butterfly-55, provided the term everyone was searching for: “Phrogging: Hider in My House” — which is actually the name of a Lifetime documentary series about this exact phenomenon.

    Bizzoxx raised the question everyone was thinking: “Actual nightmare fuel if it’s true. How were there photos of you? No way this guy got film developed and snuck back in…”

    The answer? Polaroids. He was using instant cameras to document his victim while she slept. Let that image haunt you.

    But perhaps the most chilling comment came from craftycat1135, who shared their own experience:

    “We used to rent an old house that periodically I would hear what I would have sworn were footsteps in the attic. We never went up there, never had a reason to. Even my husband heard it once and checked the parts of the house we used. Nothing was ever missing or moved and our dogs never signaled they thought something was off so I didn’t check. I think it scared me that someone could be up there too much to look and wanted to be ignorant.”

    READ THAT AGAIN. They KNEW something was wrong but were too terrified to check. How many people are living in willful ignorance right now?

    EXPERTS REVEAL THE DISTURBING PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND PHROGGING

    This isn’t just about homeless people looking for shelter. The psychological profile of phroggers is far more sinister.

    Stalkers may exhibit a range of psychological issues, including personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and delusional disorders. And make no mistake — phrogging IS a form of stalking.

    Research suggests that many women who have been stalked experienced symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and avoidance. The original poster confirms this — she hasn’t slept properly since the incident and still feels like she’s being watched.

    One of the most common psychological consequences of being stalked is the development of anxiety disorders. Victims often live in a state of hypervigilance, always on alert for potential threats. This constant state of stress can lead to panic attacks, generalized anxiety disorder, and in many cases, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

    THE SIGNS YOU’RE IGNORING COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

    Think about it: How many times have you brushed off strange noises? Missing food? Items moved around your house?

    Footsteps and creaking in the attic, or human-like noises — a cough, or the shuffle of someone moving around — could be early warnings. Strange smells like unfamiliar food, body odor, or smoke can point to an unknown person living in the space.

    The original poster noticed her cereal box seemed full when she thought she’d finished it. Commenters mocked her for this detail, but experts say this is EXACTLY the kind of sign people dismiss.

    Super-Economy-3669 sarcastically commented: “You noticed a cereal box you were sure you finished? What, you think he bought cereal to refill the empty box? How would he take pictures of you from the attic? Your story has too many plot holes. Work on it.”

    But here’s the thing — phroggers DO replenish items to avoid detection. The Chicago attic phrogger had been secretly living in the attic for over a year—coming down when no one was home to eat their food, use their bathroom, and even steal clothing and personal items.

    “THIS WAS ALSO IN A MOVIE” — EXCEPT IT’S REAL LIFE

    Multiple commenters tried to dismiss the story as fiction. ThatManRed simply wrote: “ChatGPT.”

    Mammoth-Valuable-169 said: “This was also in a movie or TV show I’ve seen. Too scary. I guess if he wanted to hurt you, he would have done it long ago.”

    But that’s the most dangerous assumption you can make. About one-third of stalking victims were eventually physically or sexually assaulted in one study. Potential indicators of violence include previous instances of violence, destruction of property, loitering around the victim’s home or workplace.

    The fact that he HADN’T attacked her yet doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have. Stalking often follows a pattern of escalation. It might start with seemingly innocent actions, but as the obsession grows and the stalker’s efforts fail to produce the desired response, their behavior typically intensifies. This escalation might involve more frequent or intrusive contact attempts, showing up uninvited at the victim’s home or workplace, or even threats of violence.

    WHAT MAKES THIS EVEN MORE TERRIFYING: IT’S LEGAL GRAY AREA

    Here’s something that will make your blood boil: Phrogging is typically treated as trespassing or unlawful entry and can come with criminal charges. But depending on how long someone has been in your home and local laws, removing them can be complicated.

    The original poster is lucky she called the police when she did. When authorities arrived, they found the intruder still there, along with a disturbing stash of the couple’s belongings.

    THE VIRAL CHICAGO CASE THAT PROVES THIS IS AN EPIDEMIC

    A similar phrogging video quickly went viral, racking up over 14 million views within days. “He was seven feet away from her,” the user said, explaining that her friend saw not a raccoon staring back at her but the pale, wide-eyed face of a man—a stranger.

    Items allowed investigators to roughly construct the timeline of events leading to the startling realization that the man had been “phrogging” in the attic for at least a year.

    A. FULL. YEAR.

    WHAT YOU NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW

    The original poster ends her story with a desperate plea:

    “I’m sharing this partly to warn people — check your attics, your basements, your crawl spaces. And partly because I haven’t told many people in real life. I feel like I’m still being watched, even though he’s gone. Has anyone else experienced something even remotely like this? Please tell me I’m not crazy”

    You’re not crazy. And neither are the thousands of people who upvoted and commented on this post.

    bigkahunaConsultant offered simple advice: “Get a dog”

    But is that enough? Most homeowners only realize they have a phrogger after noticing items missing in the home or hearing odd noises.

    Here’s what you ACTUALLY need to do:

    1. Check your attic, basement, and crawl spaces TODAY — Don’t wait. Don’t assume it can’t happen to you.
    2. Install cameras — The original poster did this after the incident. Do it BEFORE you become a victim.
    3. Change your locks — The Oregon crawl space phrogger had changed the locks on the doors of the space.
    4. Trust your gut — If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you’re being paranoid.
    5. Document everything — Missing food, moved items, strange sounds. Keep a log.

    THE COMMENT THAT SAYS IT ALL

    a11encur1 summed it up perfectly: “New fear unlocked”

    And honestly? Good. Because this fear might just save your life.

    The original poster updated that she’s changed all her locks and installed cameras, but she still can’t sleep. Can you blame her? She spent MONTHS being watched, photographed, and stalked in what should have been her safe space.

    Disruptions in daily life necessary to escape the stalker, including changes in employment, residence and phone numbers, take a toll on the victim’s well-being and may lead to a sense of isolation.

    SO… IS SOMEONE LIVING IN YOUR ATTIC RIGHT NOW?

    You might laugh. You might think this is sensationalized clickbait. But somewhere, right now, someone is reading this article while a stranger breathes quietly in their attic, waiting for them to fall asleep.

    While “phrogging” may sound like something out of an urban legend or movies such as 2019’s Parasite, it’s a rare but very real occurrence.

    When was the last time YOU checked your attic?

    The original poster thought she was safe in her quiet Portland suburb. She thought strange noises were just the house settling. She thought missing food was her own forgetfulness.

    She was wrong.

    Don’t make the same mistake.

    [SHARE THIS ARTICLE] — Your friends and family need to see this. It could save their life.

    What do you think? Have YOU experienced anything like this? Drop your stories in the comments below — and for the love of God, go check your attic.

    This article contains information from a Reddit post on r/stories and expert sources on phrogging and stalking behavior. If you believe someone is living in your home without permission, contact law enforcement immediately.

  • Uber Driver’s SHOCKING Compliment to Homeless Man Will Make You Rethink EVERYTHING About Beauty Standards

    “I’m Sure His Balls Are Always Empty” – The Wildly Unexpected Pep Talk That’s Breaking the Internet

    What started as a simple act of kindness turned into the most BIZARRE motivational speech you’ll ever hear – and Reddit can’t stop talking about it.

    In a world where we scroll past heartbreaking stories of homelessness every single day, one Uber ride became an unforgettable moment that’s now sparking heated debates across the internet. A Reddit user’s encounter with a homeless man holding a devastating sign has gone viral – but it’s what happened NEXT that has everyone talking.

    The Sign That Started It All

    Picture this: You’re sitting in an Uber, waiting at a red light, when you spot a homeless man walking between cars. His sign reads something that stops you cold: “Too ugly to prostitute, no money for food, please help.”

    The original poster (OP) shared their story on r/stories, and what unfolded is equal parts heartwarming, hilarious, and absolutely WILD. Here’s the full account in the OP’s own words:

    “While my Uber driver and I were waiting at a red light, we noticed a homeless man walking from car to car with a sign that said ‘too ugly to prostitute, no money for food, please help.’ I gave the Uber driver my lunch and asked him to please give it to the homeless man, who was now approaching the Uber driver. The Uber driver rolled down his window, handed the homeless man my lunch, and said the following in a very thick Jamaican accent:

    Uber driver: My young brodah, you are not ugly. You are beautiful. You remind me of my son. He is very handsome. Like his fadah. Da girls and da gays love my boy. I’m sure his balls are always empty. You are not ugly. Do you understand? You are lying. God bless. Goodbye now.

    Lol I think he had more to say, but the light turned green mid monologue.”

    Wait… WHAT?! Did this Jamaican Uber driver just give a homeless man the most unexpectedly explicit confidence boost of all time? Yes. Yes, he did. And the internet is LOSING IT.

    Why This Story Has Everyone in Their Feelings

    This isn’t just another “feel-good” story about helping the homeless. This is a raw, unfiltered moment that exposes something darker lurking beneath the surface: How broken are our beauty standards that someone would use “too ugly” as their plea for help?

    The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is considered by many to be the greatest poverty, and this homeless man’s sign perfectly captures that devastating reality. He wasn’t just asking for food – he was expressing a deep belief that he had no value, not even enough to sell his own body.

    But here’s where it gets interesting: Multiple commenters pointed out that this man probably WASN’T ugly at all.

    The Comments Section Goes OFF

    Reddit user eyeball_chamberss shared their own experience:

    “I once gave a homeless guy a smoke and he had to be one of the best looking people I’d ever seen in real life. Imagine Tom hardy grinning at you, little roughed up and dirty, but still Tom hardy. I told him if it came to it he’d make a pretty penny as a prostitute and he laughed, he was a very nice bloke!”

    Another user, Single_Grapefruit_44, chimed in with a similar observation:

    “I live in Kansas City Missouri and I saw a guy with that same sign a few weeks ago and I thought to myself ‘he’s definitely good looking enough to prostitute’ I mean even though he was really dirty and likely smelled bad, he was much better looking than average.”

    Hold up – is this the SAME homeless man using the same sign in different cities? Or is this sign becoming a “thing” among people experiencing homelessness? The mystery deepens.

    The Dark Reality Behind the “Joke”

    User DomDangerous cut through the emotion with a harsh truth:

    “i mean…he’s comparing himself to the life of a prostitute…pretty sure it’s more of a joke to get someone to chuckle and give him $3”

    Humor is considered an adaptive coping strategy as it could reduce the burden of perceived stress and increase positive emotional states when dealing with stressful situations. According to mental health research, humor is often a way to cope with difficulties, and research shows that when people are stressed or anxious, they become calmer and more at ease after enjoying a good joke.

    But is it really funny when someone has to joke about their own perceived worthlessness just to survive?

    Vast-Road-6387 brought the conversation back to reality with a sobering comment:

    “Most street level X workers are not attractive. I used to live on a street that was ‘the stroll’ in my city, a very few were still somewhat attractive (usually new, frequently teens) but being a meth or crack head ages you very rapidly. It broke my heart, these were somebody’s kids, addicted and ‘working’ my street to feed their habit (and often the pimps habit too).”

    This comment received significant attention because it highlights the REAL tragedy: addiction, exploitation, and the rapid physical deterioration that comes with life on the streets.

    Did the Uber Driver Just Accidentally Recruit a Prostitute?

    The top comment from whahappened2dickbutt had everyone cackling:

    “Did your Uber driver just groomed a homeless man into becoming a prostitute? Sounds like he’s a pimp.”

    While clearly tongue-in-cheek, this comment raises an uncomfortable question about the driver’s… let’s call it “enthusiastic” encouragement. Was he trying to boost the man’s self-esteem, or did he accidentally give the world’s weirdest career advice?

    The Psychology of Kindness: Why This Moment Matters

    What the Uber driver did – whether intentional or not – was powerful. Performing acts of kindness may help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and research shows that acts of kindness showed greater benefits for social connection than other therapeutic interventions.

    Encouraging words provide people experiencing homelessness with a sense of belonging, hope, and the will to continue living, making them more resilient and improving their mental health.

    Even if the delivery was… unconventional… the Uber driver’s message was clear: You have value. You are worthy. You are NOT what that sign says you are.

    Dr. Jennifer Cheavens from The Ohio State University, whose research focuses on kindness and mental health, notes that “being kind to others made people less self-conscious in public settings, which, in turn, was tied to less depression and anxiety. When people engaged in doing things for other people, these prosocial behaviors seemed to attenuate that self-focus.”

    The Viral Reaction: From Misanthropy to Hope

    User jellybrick87 had perhaps the most relatable reaction:

    “‘da girls and the da gays love my boy. Im sure his balls are always empty’. This filled my misanthropy gauge for the day.”

    But another commenter, Hot-Watercress-6548, fired back:

    “it should do the opposite maybe that’s why your balls gauge is always filled..”

    OUCH. But also… kind of brilliant? This exchange perfectly captures the tension in the story: Is it crude and inappropriate, or is it exactly the kind of raw, honest affirmation that someone in that situation needs to hear?

    The Beauty Standard Conversation We NEED to Have

    NoirSeductress brought the discussion full circle:

    “LMAO, props to ur Uber driver for the real talk! But on a serious note, it’s sad that anyone’s gotta feel they’re too ugly to get by. We all got worth beyond looks and its about damn time we start recognizing that. Society’s beauty standards are just a load of BS tbh. Throw it all out, we need an upgrade!”

    Consistent-Ad2465 responded with dark humor:

    “I agree, we should all feel pretty enough to be prostitutes.”

    And there it is – the uncomfortable truth wrapped in sarcasm. Why SHOULD anyone feel “too ugly” for anything? Why do we live in a world where physical appearance determines not just romantic prospects, but literally whether someone believes they can survive?

    The Lasting Impact

    Less-Squash7569 found their new life motto in the chaos:

    “‘May your balls be forever empty’ my new saying”

    Meanwhile, Secret_Scandals summed up what we’re all thinking:

    “This is the most incredible, oddly specific, and wholesome interaction. The driver went from zero to 100 on the compliments! The Jamaican accent just completes the scene. Bless him!”

    What Can We Learn From This Bizarre Encounter?

    Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels.

    But beyond the science, this story teaches us something profound: Sometimes the most impactful moments of kindness are the ones that break all the rules.

    The Uber driver didn’t give a polished, politically correct speech. He didn’t carefully measure his words or worry about offending anyone. He spoke from the heart, in his own voice, with his own cultural flavor – and he told a man who felt worthless that he was beautiful, desirable, and valuable.

    Random acts of kindness have the profound ability to transform not just the moment, but the very fabric of our mental well-being, fostering a sense of community, empathy, and shared humanity.

    The Questions That Remain

    Is the homeless man still using that sign? Did the Uber driver’s words actually impact him? Will he remember that moment on his darkest days?

    We’ll probably never know. But what we DO know is that one passenger gave their lunch, one driver gave an unforgettable pep talk, and thousands of people online were forced to confront uncomfortable truths about homelessness, beauty standards, and what it really means to see someone’s humanity.

    The Bottom Line: In a world that often feels cold and disconnected, sometimes all it takes is a Jamaican Uber driver, a free lunch, and the most wildly inappropriate compliment ever given to remind us that we’re all worthy of love, respect, and yes – even sexual desirability.

    What do YOU think? Was the Uber driver’s comment inappropriate or exactly what the homeless man needed to hear? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

    RELATED STORIES:

    • “I Gave a Homeless Person $100 – Their Reaction Will SHOCK You”
    • “The Dark Truth About ‘Funny’ Homeless Signs Nobody Wants to Talk About”
    • “Uber Driver Secrets: The Wildest Things They’ve Witnessed”

    This article is based on a viral Reddit post from r/stories. All quotes are from actual Reddit users responding to the original story.

  • “I Manipulated My Husband Into Marrying Me—And Confessed Everything at Our Wedding”: Bride’s Shocking Vow Admission Divides the Internet

    She staged her apartment. She planted his favorite beer. She left out a football jersey. And when he finally fell for her? She revealed it ALL in front of their wedding guests.

    A woman’s confession about how she “scammed” her now-husband into falling for her has sparked a massive online debate about the thin line between strategic dating and outright manipulation. Posted to Reddit’s r/stories, the bride’s admission that she carefully orchestrated their early courtship—and then announced it during her wedding vows—has racked up over 37,000 upvotes and nearly 9,000 comments, with reactions ranging from “adorable” to “absolutely creepy.”

    The Full Confession: A Love Story or a Con Job?

    The original poster, going by the username Far_Magazine_5084, laid out her entire scheme in shocking detail:

    “For me, it was love at first sight for my (now) husband. Not so much for him. I was his little sisters friend, with braces, and constant teen girl giggling. He was the older, much much hotter, couldn’t-care-less older brother upstairs. I obviously had no shot.

    Later, we met again through mutual friends, now both older, no headgear. I was just as in love, he was still just as cute, and this time I actually had a chance – I wasn’t going to blow it. I invited him to crash at my place after a friends birthday party and….

    I had staged the place. I had casually left out a T-shirt of his favorite football team. You know, just tossed on the back of a chair. Oops! How did that get there? I left a CD of his favorite band on my nightstand, because obviously, that’s what any casual fan does. I love them too, duh! I had his favorite beer in the fridge. Yes, I 100000% drink this beer too. It doesn’t taste like piss water to me at all!…

    Was I a complete weirdo for doing this? Yes. Did it work perfectly? Also yes. It also made for perfect wedding vows.”

    The woman clarified that she already owned the shirt (from her local college team) and genuinely liked the band—she just made sure they were strategically visible when her crush came over. But the real kicker? She admitted all of this during her wedding ceremony, in front of family and friends.

    The Psychology Behind “Strategic Presentation”

    Is this manipulation or just smart dating? Experts say the answer isn’t black and white.

    Using impression-management skills, you can modify the way you present yourself to influence other people’s perceptions of you, according to Psychology Today. A study from researchers at the University of York reveals just how quickly we form these first impressions—in as little as 33 to 100 milliseconds.

    Many of us hide our authentic selves in relationships out of fear of rejection, notes relationship psychology research. Everybody is on their best behavior and more willing to help out and be intimate in the early stages of the relationship because they want to portray themselves as someone another person would like to be with.

    But where’s the line? Authenticity is not just about perfection, but about honesty, which invites real intimacy. The question becomes: was this bride being dishonest, or was she simply putting her best foot forward?

    Reddit Explodes: “Cute” or “Creepy Stalker”?

    The comments section became an absolute warzone, with users viciously divided over whether the bride’s behavior was endearing or disturbing.

    The Critics Came Out Swinging:

    One of the top comments, with over 1,100 upvotes, didn’t mince words: “‘I’m not a creepy stalker’ mmm no you are.”

    Another highly-upvoted response declared: “If a man had done the same thing, he’d be called manipulative and obsessive. Then to choose to admit to it during the wedding vows? Almost sounds like the villain reveal of how he pulled off the ultimate crime without being caught.”

    The accusations got even harsher: “Everyone knows the best relationships are founded on lies. /s”

    One commenter summed up the outrage: “The guy fell for the stalker.”

    But Others Rushed to Her Defense:

    Not everyone saw it as sinister. Some Redditors argued that what she did was no different than wearing makeup on a first date or choosing a flattering outfit.

    “You don’t even know the definition of a stalker,” one defender shot back.

    The bride herself added edits to address the backlash, revealing that the response got so toxic that people were sending her death threats and comparing her to rapists—all because she left out a t-shirt.

    “Final edit: wow. I guess I should’ve expected Reddit to be a hellscape, but not like this. The fact that some of you are genuinely DMing me to kill myself, saying I’m worse than a r*pist, etc because…. I laid out a tshirt for a local college team? My husband and I have been together for maaaaaany years now. He was not tricked into anything, you freaks.”

    The Manipulation Debate: Where Do We Draw the Line?

    Manipulation is a form of emotional abuse that aims to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s advantage, according to mental health experts. But does strategically displaying items that show common interests really qualify?

    Dating experts note that it’s crucial to be aware of the manipulative tactics that some people use to gain power and control over others, especially on dating apps. These include love bombing, gaslighting, and future-faking—tactics that are worlds apart from leaving out a football jersey.

    Healthy relationships develop over time, which gives people time to confirm initial impressions, and ensure relationships are founded on actual compatibility instead of wishful thinking.

    The bride’s sister, who was a bridesmaid and the original source of information about her brother, found the whole thing hilarious. As the poster noted: “His sister (a bridesmaid) was only a little annoyed to find out I was using our hangouts as study sessions on her older brother. (Just kidding – she thought it was hilarious & knew all her friends thought he was cute obviously).”

    The Wedding Vow Confession: Bold or Boundary-Crossing?

    Perhaps the most controversial aspect wasn’t the staging itself, but the decision to reveal it during the wedding ceremony. Wedding vows are the crux of your wedding day—exchanging vows in a marriage ceremony is the very reason you’ve gathered friends and family to celebrate.

    When you reflect on your vows thirty years from now, how do you want that moment to be remembered? Say something, don’t say everything, advises one wedding officiant.

    Some commenters felt the confession was a fun, quirky addition that showed the couple’s sense of humor and honesty. Others felt it was inappropriate—a moment that should have been kept private or never revealed at all.

    The Husband’s Response

    According to the poster’s final edit, her husband has seen the post and the comments—and he’s just as confused by the outrage as she is. The couple has been together for “maaaaaany years,” suggesting that whatever strategy she employed at the beginning, it led to a lasting, genuine relationship.

    So… Was It Manipulation or Just Smart Dating?

    The internet may never agree on this one. On one hand, she deliberately created a false impression of spontaneous compatibility. On the other hand, she genuinely liked the things she displayed and simply made sure they were visible—not unlike choosing to wear your best outfit on a first date.

    When we risk showing who we truly are, we give others the chance to love us—not the mask, but the person beneath it. The question is: was the bride wearing a mask, or was she just highlighting her best features?

    What’s clear is that this story has touched a nerve. In an era where dating apps encourage us to curate perfect profiles and where “impression management” is practically a required skill, we’re all grappling with how much staging is acceptable before it crosses into deception.

    The bride stands by her actions, ending her post with a defiant message to critics: “Stop being miserable fs on the internet and find some happiness.”*

    And for those who found it sweet? She and her husband thank you.

    What do you think? Was this a harmless romantic strategy or a manipulative red flag? Would you confess something like this in your wedding vows? Let us know in the comments!

    The couple remains happily married, proving that sometimes, love at first sight just needs a little… strategic assistance.

  • Maid of Honor DESTROYS Bride’s Wedding With Shocking Confession About Her Ex – And the DJ’s Response Will Leave You SPEECHLESS

    “The entire hall went silent” – This wedding speech went from sweet to scandalous in seconds, and the internet can’t decide who’s the villain

    Picture this: You’re at your best friend’s wedding. The champagne is flowing, the flowers are perfect, and everyone’s waiting for that heartfelt maid of honor speech. You know, the one where she talks about how the bride is her soulmate and how perfect the couple is together?

    Yeah, this wasn’t that speech.

    In a viral Reddit post that has the internet absolutely LOSING IT, one bride shared the moment her “best friend” decided to drop a bombshell confession in front of 200+ wedding guests – and honestly, we’re still picking our jaws up off the floor.

    The Speech That Broke the Internet (And Maybe a Friendship)

    Here’s what the original poster shared in the r/stories subreddit:

    “So, my best friend (the maid of honor) had a few too many mimosas before her speech. Everything started sweet ‘We’ve known each other since college…’ then out of nowhere she goes, ‘And remember when you dated my ex for 3 weeks?’

    The entire hall went silent. Groom turned around, bride started laughing (thankfully), and the DJ hit play on ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore.’ by Charlie Puth

    To this day, guests still bring it up. Honestly… 10/10 entertainment value, zero regrets.”

    Let that sink in for a moment. The MAID OF HONOR just casually announced to everyone – including the groom, his family, the bride’s conservative grandmother probably – that the bride had dated her ex-boyfriend. At. The. Wedding.

    Wait, Did She Really Just Say That?

    Wedding experts agree that mentioning ex-partners or previous relationships creates awkward moments that detract from the celebration. In fact, wedding etiquette explicitly states: “Don’t mention exes, don’t get too drunk before speaking.”

    But here’s where it gets even MORE unhinged: the bride LAUGHED. She actually laughed it off! Meanwhile, the groom “turned around” – and we can only imagine the absolute CONFUSION on that poor man’s face. Did he know? Was this news to him? The original poster conveniently left that juicy detail out.

    Wedding professionals report that over 70% of maid of honor speeches contain at least one major mistake that better preparation could have prevented. But this? This wasn’t just a mistake. This was a calculated missile launched directly at the reception’s peace.

    The DJ Deserves a Raise (Or an Award)

    Can we talk about the real MVP here? The DJ who immediately – and we mean IMMEDIATELY – played “We Don’t Talk Anymore” by Charlie Puth. The comedic timing? Chef’s kiss. The shade? Immaculate. The ability to read a room and somehow make it worse AND better at the same time? Legendary.

    One commenter nailed it: “That DJ timing was impeccable.”

    Another added: “The DJ was the real hero of that day.”

    But was it planned? One suspicious Redditor asked: “Sounds like there might have been a little planning with that.. maybe? For the DJ to have it loaded up like that.. How long was the time from the statement to him playing the track?”

    Reddit Goes NUCLEAR Over the “Confession”

    The comments section became an absolute WARZONE, with people divided into camps faster than you can say “open bar.”

    Team “This Is Fine”:

    One user shrugged it off: “I don’t get it. Surely no one thought that the bride hadn’t dated anyone before the husband?”

    Another chimed in: “Two friends dated the same guy? So what? This isn’t a story. Nothing happened.”

    And this gem: “Nah y’all way too forgiving” was met with the sarcastic reply: “Yeah man they should have immediately engaged in violence over words.”

    Team “This Is a DISASTER”:

    But not everyone was so chill. One commenter captured what many were thinking: “If I was the groom I would have been mortified until I saw the brides reaction.”

    The original poster herself admitted: “I would have died of embarrassment.”

    And perhaps the most savage take: “Interesting to find out at your wedding that she hates you.”

    The Mimosa Defense: When “Drunk” Becomes an Excuse

    Let’s address the elephant in the room: those “few too many mimosas.”

    Wedding experts universally advise against getting drunk before giving a speech, though having a small amount of liquid courage is acceptable if you know your limit.

    But here’s the thing – being drunk doesn’t make you say things that aren’t already in your head. It just removes the filter that stops you from saying them. So the question becomes: Was this maid of honor harboring resentment about her friend dating her ex? Was this her moment of petty revenge disguised as a “whoopsie, I’m tipsy” moment?

    Wedding experts note that maids of honor who have “one too many martinis” often “ramble on or crack a joke but don’t stick the landing.” And boy, did this joke NOT stick the landing – it crash-landed into a dumpster fire.

    The Unspoken Rules About Dating Your Friend’s Ex

    Let’s get real for a second. Dating your friend’s ex is… complicated. And apparently, it’s STILL complicated years later when you’re standing at their wedding with a microphone.

    Experts emphasize that friendships between ex-partners need clear boundaries and expectations to ensure neither party gets hurt. But what about friendships where one person dated the other’s ex? That’s a whole different minefield.

    A 2017 study in the journal Personal Relationships identified four main reasons why people maintain friendships with exes: security, practicality, civility, and unresolved romantic desires. So which category does this fall into? Because it sure seems like there might be some unresolved… something.

    Was This Actually Revenge?

    Here’s where things get REALLY interesting. One Reddit user dropped this theory: “i doubt it was accidental.”

    Another suggested: “Interesting to find out at your wedding that she hates you.”

    Think about it: You’re the maid of honor. You’ve presumably helped plan the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, picked out dresses, and stood by your “best friend’s” side through months of wedding planning. And THIS is the moment you choose to bring up that she dated your ex?

    Wedding experts warn that sharing embarrassing stories ranks among the most common maid of honor speech mistakes, as tales that might seem funny between close friends can mortify the bride in front of relatives.

    The original poster says “zero regrets” and gives it “10/10 entertainment value” – but whose entertainment? Because something tells us the groom’s family wasn’t exactly thrilled.

    The Bride’s Reaction: Laughing or Dying Inside?

    The post mentions the bride “started laughing (thankfully)” – but was it genuine laughter or that panicked, nervous laughter you do when you’re absolutely MORTIFIED but trying to play it cool in front of 200 people?

    One commenter captured this perfectly: “Same! But honestly, it sounds like a legendary moment. At least it made for an unforgettable wedding!!”

    “Unforgettable” is certainly one word for it. “Traumatizing” is another.

    What the Groom Must Have Been Thinking

    Can we spare a thought for the groom here? The post says he “turned around” – which is wedding guest code for “his head whipped around so fast he nearly got whiplash.”

    One commenter joked: “Or surprise I’m her ex also.”

    Another added: “If I was the groom I would have been mortified until I saw the brides reaction. Then I’d be like, ‘yeah I fucked the hot bridesmaid first’ lol.”

    But seriously, imagine finding out at your WEDDING that your bride dated her maid of honor’s ex. Did he know? Was this common knowledge in their friend group? Or was he learning this information at the same time as his great-aunt Mildred?

    The “It’s Not a Big Deal” Crowd Misses the Point

    Sure, plenty of commenters argued this wasn’t actually scandalous:

    “I don’t see the problem here…”

    “tipareth1978 • 10h ago: I’m not seeing how that’s remotely a big deal”

    “-mentalmelt- • 4h ago: Two friends dated the same guy? So what? This isn’t a story. Nothing happened.”

    But here’s what they’re missing: It’s not about WHAT was said. It’s about WHEN and WHERE it was said. Wedding etiquette experts emphasize keeping speeches PG-rated and avoiding anything inappropriate, rude, or embarrassing, especially with elderly relatives and important family members in the room.

    There’s a time and place for everything, and your best friend’s wedding reception in front of her new in-laws is NOT the time to bring up her dating history.

    The Real Question: Are They Still Friends?

    The original poster says guests “still bring it up” to this day. But what she DOESN’T say is whether she and the maid of honor are still friends. That conspicuous silence speaks VOLUMES.

    Wedding speeches represent a permanent part of wedding memories, and recordings of toasts might live forever in wedding videos. So this moment? It’s immortalized. Forever. On video. Probably being shown at every family gathering for the next decade.

    The Internet’s Verdict

    The post has sparked thousands of comments, with people sharing their own wedding speech horror stories:

    One user shared: “I was at a wedding where they went around the room asking each guest for advice for the new couple. One old uncle said make love every day even if you are alone. Brought down the house.”

    Another recalled: “My roommate keeps bringing up my ex and I don’t know what to do about it.” (Wrong thread, buddy, but we feel you.)

    And this person perfectly summed up the chaos: “Most unexpected short stories.”

    What Wedding Experts Say About This Disaster

    The golden rule for maid of honor speeches is simple: Keep it 2-4 minutes, tell one good story that shows why the bride is amazing, include her new husband in the speech, and practice it out loud at least three times – and definitely don’t mention exes or get too drunk before speaking.

    This speech violated at LEAST two of those rules. Maybe three, depending on how long the awkward silence lasted.

    References to past relationships create uncomfortable moments for everyone involved, as weddings celebrate the couple’s future together, and mentioning ex-partners brings focus to past relationships instead.

    Wedding speech expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott would probably have a field day with this one. She emphasizes that while you should speak naturally, this isn’t the time to use inappropriate language since you’ll be speaking to the couple’s nearest and dearest.

    The Bottom Line: Entertainment or Betrayal?

    So what’s the verdict? Was this harmless fun that made for a memorable wedding moment? Or was it a passive-aggressive power move disguised as a drunken slip?

    The original poster rates it “10/10 entertainment value, zero regrets.” But entertainment for whom? The guests got a show. The DJ got to showcase his impeccable timing. But did the bride get the wedding speech she deserved from her supposed “best friend”?

    One thing’s for certain: This wedding will NEVER be forgotten. Whether that’s a good thing or not depends entirely on who you ask.

    What do YOU think? Was this maid of honor out of line, or is everyone overreacting? Drop your thoughts in the comments – and maybe share your own wedding speech horror stories while you’re at it. Because clearly, we’re all here for the drama.

    Have a wedding disaster story that tops this one? We want to hear it! Share your most cringe-worthy wedding moments in the comments below.

  • “I Thought About Shooting You”: Teen Discovers Roommate Was Actually A MURDERER On The Run—And The Truth Is Absolutely CHILLING

    A 15-year-old’s desperate living situation turned into a nightmare when their cash-paying roommate revealed a horrifying secret. What happened next will leave you speechless.

    The Original Post That Has Reddit REELING:

    In a post that’s sending shockwaves through Reddit’s r/stories community, user Vinchenso_ shared a harrowing tale that reads like a true crime documentary—except it’s terrifyingly real. Here’s what they wrote:

    “In 2020 I was 15, living with my brother, in a shitty run down apartment. (My mom kicked me out the year before.) I had no school due to my charter school not doing an online option, and I was just let go from my job because of the pandemic.

    My brother and I are struggling to make ends meet with just his income, until he meets this guy named Aaron at a bonfire party. Aaron needed a place to stay, and promised to pay in cash every month. So it was settled, and he moved in 2 days later.

    Don’t get me wrong, Aaron was weird. He wouldn’t really shower, was really possessive about his things, would go on rants about wanting to kill cops, and would constantly order from Pizza Hut like everyday. 2 times a day. But he was never late with rent, and he was helping me keep a roof over my head, so I ignored it.

    One morning I go to the kitchen to make some toast. I pull the butter out of fridge, and before I can even turn around I feel something hit the back of my head. I spin around to see Aaron yelling, ‘That’s my fucking butter!’ I drop the butter on the table, but he straight up back hands me in the face.

    I’m seeing stars at this point, and this grown ass man is going on a rant about how I never contribute to the bills, and I’m always eating his food. He finally calms down after 20 mins of ranting, hands me the butter, and apologizes.

    Immediately I tell my brother, who says he’ll take care of it. The next week we’re all sitting in the living room, when Aaron out of the blue says, ‘Y’know [brothers name] I thought about shooting you the other day when you told me I have to be nicer to [my name]. Then you left, and I had time to think about it. I’m so proud of my self.’

    My brother asked him if he even had a gun, to which Aaron responds, ‘I might. It’s none of your business.’”

    The Red Flags Were EVERYWHERE—But Desperation Made Them Ignore It

    Reading this story, you might be screaming at your screen: “HOW DID THEY NOT SEE THIS COMING?!” But here’s the gut-wrenching reality—when you’re 15 years old, kicked out by your own mother, and struggling to survive during a pandemic, you don’t have the luxury of being picky about who helps pay the rent.

    Psychologists note that psychopathy is characterized by “traits such as lack of empathy, superficial charm, impulsivity, and manipulativeness”—and Aaron checked nearly every box. His possessiveness over his belongings? Classic controlling behavior. The rants about killing cops? Experts identify “threats of violence” as major red flags in potentially dangerous individuals.

    But perhaps most chilling was Aaron’s casual admission about contemplating murder. According to security experts, “mass attackers rarely hide all warning signs of potential violence or conflict ahead of a confrontation. Instead, many present red flags or proximal warning behaviors that together form patterns of risk.”

    The story continues with Aaron going on a meth binge and jumping out of a second-story window—refusing to go to the hospital afterward. At this point, the siblings had completely distanced themselves from their increasingly unstable roommate.

    The $15 Decision That Changed EVERYTHING

    Then came the moment that would expose Aaron’s darkest secret. Desperate for money, the teen agreed to let Aaron borrow their $700 car for just $15.

    He never came back.

    Ten hours turned into a week of radio silence. The car—and Aaron—had vanished. Then came the call that would reveal the horrifying truth: South Carolina state police had the vehicle impounded. Aaron had been pulled over for a broken tail light, panicked, and fled from police—busting all four tires in the process before being captured.

    The Truth That Will Make Your Blood Run Cold

    Here’s where this story goes from bad to absolutely TERRIFYING:

    Aaron had a warrant out for MURDER.

    That’s right—the man who had been living with a 15-year-old child, who had violently assaulted them over butter, who had casually mentioned thinking about shooting their brother, was a FUGITIVE WANTED FOR KILLING HIS OWN COUSIN.

    According to the post, Aaron had shot his cousin in the head a year prior over a dice game and a girl. He fled Florida and had been slowly making his way north, evading police the entire time. Law enforcement experts note that “some of the country’s most wanted criminals — murderers, rapists, armed robbers — often move to New York City, where they hide in plain sight”—and Aaron had been doing exactly that in their apartment.

    As crime experts explain, “it is all to easy for criminals to hide in plain sight, because we take normal behavior, and even variations of normal behavior, at face value.”

    Reddit’s Reaction: OUTRAGE and Disbelief

    The Reddit community absolutely EXPLODED over this story, with hundreds of users sharing their shock and concern. Let’s look at some of the most powerful responses:

    User hiker201 cut straight to the point:

    “You’re lucky you’re not dead, or seriously injured.”

    This comment received massive upvotes because it speaks to the terrifying reality: this teen was living with a murderer who had already proven he was willing to kill. The fact that they survived is nothing short of miraculous.

    User qiterite delivered a harsh but necessary truth:

    “You and your brother dodged a bullet. But seriously now that you’ve had this experience hopefully you’ll see the seriousness ahead of time. Paid bills don’t mean anything when you’re dead.”

    The OP responded with an update that brought some relief to worried readers:

    “Yeah we were both broke at the time, and no where would hire a 15 year old during a pandemic. Now we’re both in a better situation. He’s got 2 kids, a gf, and a nice house. I’m renting a room with my gf.”

    User PastaPuss captured what everyone was thinking:

    “Damn dude, that’s some rattling stuff. I honestly cannot imagine the vibe of living with a literal killer.”

    User ricvallejo added some dark humor to cope with the horror:

    “Moral of the story: never let a sketchy dude borrow your car with all tail lights functional.”

    But perhaps the most haunting comment came from user caitejane310, who shared their own chilling connection to violence:

    “I knew a guy who shot his niece in the head over 3 bags of heroin. They were empty and she went back to confront him and he shot her. She didn’t even die right away but was on life support for a few weeks before she passed. He had also killed 2 or 3 people with a vehicle and barely did any time at all.”

    This comment serves as a stark reminder that these stories aren’t isolated incidents—violent criminals often slip through the cracks of the justice system, putting innocent people at risk.

    The Psychology of Living With Danger

    Dr. Danielle Forshee, a doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker, defines a toxic person as “someone who violates personal boundaries physically, emotionally, or psychologically”—and Aaron violated every single one.

    Research on roommate relationships reveals disturbing findings: “Some participants felt unsafe around their roommates because dangerous objects were kept in the room”—and Aaron had casually mentioned possibly having a gun.

    The impact on the teen’s wellbeing cannot be overstated. Studies show that negative roommate situations can severely affect students, with research participants reporting “I started to make changes and so I wore headphones, I took sleeping pills to try and not wakeup” due to anxiety and fear in their own homes.

    The Fugitive Next Door: A Growing Concern

    Law enforcement reports indicate that “Martinez is just one of hundreds of thousands of potentially dangerous fugitives from around the country who come to New York to hide out”—and this isn’t just a New York problem. Fugitives blend into communities across America, becoming roommates, neighbors, and coworkers.

    In one remarkable case, a U.S. Marshal noted about a fugitive who lived undetected for decades: “He was a good family man, good father, good husband, good friend, pro golfer – he seemed to be well-liked by everybody. He pretty much lived the life of a perfect fugitive on the run.”

    The terrifying takeaway? Your roommate, neighbor, or friendly acquaintance could be hiding a deadly past.

    Warning Signs You Should NEVER Ignore

    Based on this harrowing story and expert analysis, here are the red flags that should send you running:

    1. Extreme possessiveness over belongings – Experts warn that “controlling behavior” is often explained away as “concern” but escalates over time
    2. Violent outbursts over minor issues – Hitting someone over butter is NOT normal
    3. Casual mentions of violence – If someone talks about shooting people, BELIEVE THEM
    4. Refusal to seek medical help after serious injury – Aaron’s refusal to go to the hospital after jumping from a second story is a massive red flag
    5. Paying only in cash – While not always suspicious, combined with other factors, it can indicate someone hiding their identity
    6. Substance abuse coupled with erratic behavior – The meth binge was the final warning sign

    The Aftermath: A Cautionary Tale

    The OP never saw their car again—a small price to pay for surviving an encounter with a murderer. But the psychological scars? Those last forever.

    User amboomernotkaren asked the question many readers were thinking:

    “So glad you are ok and sorry about the car and WTF is wrong with your mom.”

    This highlights another tragic element of the story: a 15-year-old was in this situation because their own mother had kicked them out. The vulnerability of youth homelessness created the perfect storm for this dangerous situation.

    User Wumutissunshinesmile summed it up perfectly:

    “Damn. That is one of the craziest things I ever read. I’m glad you’re okay.”

    The Bottom Line: Trust Your Gut

    Mental health experts emphasize: “It’s essential to stay observant and trust your instincts when something feels off. By understanding the signs of psychopathy and recognizing potential red flags you can navigate your living situation more effectively.”

    This story serves as a chilling reminder that desperation can cloud judgment, but survival instincts exist for a reason. The teen and their brother survived because they eventually recognized the danger and distanced themselves—but it could have ended very differently.

    The most haunting part? Aaron is now back in custody in Florida, facing murder charges. But for months, he lived as a regular roommate, ordering Pizza Hut twice a day, while hiding the fact that he’d shot someone in the head.

    How many other “Aarons” are out there, hiding in plain sight?

    Have you ever had a roommate experience that gave you bad vibes? Share your story in the comments below. And please, if you’re in a living situation that feels unsafe, reach out to local resources for help. Your life is worth more than rent money.

    UPDATE: The OP has confirmed they and their brother are now in much better living situations, proving that even the darkest chapters can lead to better days. Stay safe out there, everyone.

    What do YOU think? Was the brother wrong for letting Aaron move in? Should the teen have reported the assault to police immediately? Let us know in the comments!

  • “Pay For My Party But You’re NOT Invited!” Woman’s Shocking Birthday Ultimatum Tears Couple Apart—Reddit EXPLODES Over Who’s Really Wrong

    A partner’s mother wants a lavish week-long vacation for her “big anniversary birthday”—but there’s one person who’s definitely NOT on the guest list. Now, she expects her son to foot the bill using JOINT finances. The internet has THOUGHTS.

    When love, money, and family collide, someone always gets hurt. But what happens when you’re asked to bankroll a luxury vacation you’re explicitly banned from attending? One Reddit user found themselves in this exact nightmare scenario—and the internet is absolutely LOSING IT over who’s the real villain in this family drama.

    THE ORIGINAL POST: Read It and WEEP

    User ARandomStringOfWords posted to r/AmItheAsshole with a situation that immediately struck a nerve. Here’s what they wrote:

    “My partner’s mother decided she wants to have her big anniversary birthday in another state, going for a week and staying somewhere fancy. She’s said she’ll pay for everything but the only people invited are her children and her partner. Fair enough. It’s her big day and while being excluded hurts I can understand her wanting to only have those closest to her there.

    *Here’s the but. My partner wants to be the big man and pay for it, or at least split it with his siblings. I am very much not OK with that. We have joint finances which means by definition half of that very large sum would be coming from my hip pocket. His family are big on the whole “no, let *me* pay” game and normally I’m happy to play it but I just don’t feel it’s OK for me to be told I’m not invited and then have him expect me to contribute.*

    TL;DR AITA for not wanting to financially contribute towards a holiday I’m being excluded from attending?”

    Let that sink in. She’s being asked to fund her own exclusion. To literally pay money so her partner can go on a fancy vacation without her. To smile and nod while half of “a very large sum” disappears from their shared account for a party she’s banned from attending.

    What The Experts Say: This Is About MORE Than Money

    One in five couples say money is their biggest relationship challenge, and this situation perfectly illustrates why financial conflicts cut so deep.

    Establishing clear financial boundaries is crucial for couples, including setting limits on individual spending or deciding on major purchases together, as clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings and misuse of shared resources.

    Money is a common cause of stress in relationships, and if left unaddressed, it can impact more than just your wallet. But this isn’t just about dollars and cents. Joint decision-making is essential, as this collaborative approach ensures that both partners have a say in financial matters, reinforcing mutual respect and trust.

    Reddit’s Verdict: The Comments Are ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL

    The Reddit community did NOT hold back, and the top comments are scathing. Let’s break down what people REALLY think about this mess.

    “Why Is He Even GOING?” – The Top Comment That Says It ALL

    User florida_lmt delivered what became the most upvoted response with a staggering 1.4K votes:

    “NTA. Forget about paying for this trip. Why is he even going? My husband would not attend a vacation I was being intentionally excluded from. There would never be a thought it would be an immediate hard decline.”

    This comment cuts straight to the heart of the issue. It’s not just about the money—it’s about loyalty. Would YOUR partner attend a week-long luxury vacation you were banned from? The fact that this is even a question has Redditors FURIOUS.

    The Debate: Can Parents Have “Kids Only” Time?

    Not everyone agreed the situation was so black and white. User Beginning_Meet_4290 pushed back:

    “Families are allowed to on holidays on their own? I don’t see why you’re villainising this woman for wanting to go on holiday with just her kids.”

    But user Key-Direction-9480 (with 314 upvotes) asked the question on everyone’s mind:

    “Weird that this sub is generally sympathetic to children who want to meet their parents with no step-parent present, yet upvotes a comment saying a mother shouldn’t meet with her children without their partners. Can anyone bridge the gap for me?”

    User trumpeter84 provided the nuanced breakdown that got massive support:

    “There’s a difference between meet/spend time with, and go on a week-long vacation in a different state while your spouse is not invited. Every couple is going to draw the line between those in different places, but there’s a pretty big gap there.”

    They continued:

    “Rational people aren’t going to object to their partner having a meal or doing a shared activity with a parent or family-of-origin. Most people would be fine with their partner spending a weekend at their parents house, or each half of the partnership spending a holiday with their respective family of origin instead of together. A lot of couples would even be cool with a partner going on a week long family vacation alone if they were invited but couldn’t attend for some reason.”

    “But for me, the lines start getting drawn around the ‘not invited’ bit. I encourage my spouse to spend time with their family without me, but I’m also aware that I’m always invited along if I want to go. When the purposeful exclusion starts, things get hostile and uncomfortable.”

    User Canadasaver summed it up perfectly with 108 upvotes:

    “Sad that a mother doesn’t view their children’s partners as family.”

    The Three-Choice ULTIMATUM That Has Everyone Talking

    User axw3555, with 548 upvotes, laid out a crystal-clear framework that many are calling the PERFECT response:

    “NTA. Be very clear, he has 3 options:
    1. If you pay, I’m coming. Period.
    2. If I don’t come, you don’t pay.
    3. If you go, and I find out afterwards that you paid, I will split the finances over this.

    Let him choose. But what he chooses will tell you how much he respects you.”

    This comment is FIRE. It puts the ball squarely in the partner’s court and makes the consequences crystal clear. No wiggle room. No excuses.

    User vroddba (491 upvotes) emphasized the joint nature of their finances even more strongly, suggesting the ultimatum should use “WE” throughout:

    “I’d use WE to further iterate the joined finances.
    If WE pay, I’m coming. Period.
    If I don’t come, WE don’t pay.
    If you go, and I find out afterwards that WE paid, I will split the finances over this.”

    The “Equal Treatment” Solution That Actually Makes Sense

    User taewongun1895 proposed a different approach that gained significant traction:

    “Or, OP gets a withdrawal from the joint finances that is equal to the cost of his trip. She can use the money for a girl’s weekend out.”

    This suggestion resonated with many Redditors. If he’s going to drain their joint account for a vacation without her, she should get to do the EXACT same thing. Fair is fair, right?

    “Separate Finances NOW” – The Nuclear Option

    User gremlinofspite didn’t mince words:

    “NTA but the real problem is your partner, not his mom. Separate finances now. And reconsider this relationship if he thinks you should have to pay for part of his’s mom’s trip.”

    User Different-Leg7609 echoed this sentiment:

    “I’d be separating finances real quick. NTA.”

    Multiple commenters suggested that if the partner wants to play “big man,” he needs to find the money from HIS OWN pocket, not their shared resources.

    The “Big Man” Game: When Ego Costs YOU Money

    The original poster revealed an important cultural detail about the family dynamics:

    “His family are big on the whole ‘no, let me pay’ game and normally I’m happy to play it but I just don’t feel it’s OK for me to be told I’m not invited and then have him expect me to contribute.”

    This “big man” mentality—where family members compete to pick up the tab—might seem generous on the surface. But when it involves excluding a partner and then expecting them to fund their own exclusion? That’s not generosity. That’s disrespect wrapped in a bow.

    User Familiar_Shock_1542 called it out:

    “Oh, hell no. NTA. He’s the A for even considering using joint money for his mom’s excluding event. And y’all should stop playing the big man game.”

    The Partner’s Dilemma: When “Losing Face” Matters More Than Your Spouse

    In the comments, the original poster revealed her internal conflict that had many Redditors ALARMED:

    “I don’t want him to have to lose face in front of his family, especially because I know his siblings will propose that they all pay for the trip and split it between them. It’d be humiliating to have to say he couldn’t do it.”

    This response triggered alarm bells across the thread. User Scenarioing, a “Top 1% Commenter,” delivered a harsh reality check:

    “‘I don’t want him to have to lose face in front of his family… …It’d be humiliating to him’

    —Of course you don’t ‘want to’. You HAVE to. If he literally subsidizes her exclusion against his own wife with substantial marital assets, and he participates, there is no bottom. You are worthless be her decree and he obeys.

    He caused this. It is up to him to fix it. Whatever the consequences are.”

    Let that sink in. The original poster is worried about HER PARTNER’S embarrassment while he’s perfectly fine with her funding her own exclusion. The priorities here are WILDLY out of whack.

    The Middle Ground: When Exclusion Is Okay (Sort Of)

    User Polish_girl44, a “Top 1% Commenter,” offered a more balanced perspective:

    “It depends. I love when I’m not included and my bf goes to spend time with his family. Its their time and I’m happy for them. But in case of the money – I think husband should find a way to pay from his own pocket if he feels to pay.”

    This comment highlights an important distinction: Some people are genuinely okay with their partners having family-only time. The problem isn’t necessarily the exclusion itself—it’s being expected to PAY for that exclusion.

    User Healthy-Detective326 agreed:

    “I kind of agree. At least separate savings accounts for things like this. He wants to be the ‘big man?’ He can take it out of his fun money- not their joint account. Absolutely NTA.”

    The Solution: What The Original Poster Decided

    After reading hundreds of comments and absorbing the collective wisdom (and rage) of Reddit, the original poster revealed their plan:

    “From reading all the comments I think I’m going to make that proposal and see how he responds. He’s big on the concept of fairness (AKA growing up with multiple siblings and wanting everything to be equal). Hopefully it resolves the issue.”

    The proposal? If he takes money from their joint account for this trip, she gets to withdraw an equal amount for her own vacation or personal use. Fight fire with fire.

    But user Tanyec offered a dose of financial reality:

    “If that’s something you guys can afford, that seems fair. If it isn’t, then neither of you should be spending money you don’t have, and especially not on something that’s just for one of you.”

    This is the crucial point many commenters emphasized: If they CAN’T afford for BOTH of them to take expensive vacations, then NEITHER of them should be draining their joint account for solo trips.

    Other Commenters Weigh In: The Verdict Is UNANIMOUS

    User Poekienijn summed up the fairness argument:

    “NTA. If your partner wants to pay for it he should, but it can’t come out of your joint finances. Or if it has to: you should be able to take the same sum out to spend on a trip or something else just for you.”

    User Heavy-Equipment8389 agreed:

    “NTA. I can certainly understand why you don’t want to pay for something where you’re not welcome. If you have only joint finances, I’d tell your husband you want to balance things out with spending the same amount for something for yourself like a trip to your parents or something hobby related.”

    User commanderclue called out the mother-in-law directly:

    “NTA. Maybe the others who make the cut have spouses who don’t want to invest in this milestone anniversary birthday that they aren’t invited to. Your mil is a piece of work.”

    And user Nice_Option1598 suggested the ultimate power move:

    “NTA your mil is a grown adult who can’t have her childrens partners attend a holiday because she needs all attention on her birthday. She needs to get a grip and realise she’s not the centre of the universe. If your partner takes that money then make sure you take the same amount of money and shout your own Friends or family a week away without inviting him. Make it a really epic trip. Far better than hers. If he complains ask him how it’s any different from him.”

    The Bigger Picture: What This Says About Relationships

    This story forces us to confront uncomfortable questions that go WAY beyond one birthday party:

    When does “family time” become deliberate exclusion? There’s a difference between grabbing coffee with your mom and going on a week-long luxury vacation without your spouse.

    Should a partner attend events their spouse is banned from? Many commenters said absolutely not—that attending would be a betrayal in itself.

    Can a relationship survive when one person’s family treats their partner as an outsider? This is the real question. If the mother-in-law doesn’t view her son’s partner as family, and the son is okay with that, what does that say about the relationship’s future?

    Is it ever okay to use joint finances for something that benefits only one person? The overwhelming consensus: Only if BOTH partners agree, and only if it’s truly affordable.

    The REAL Problem: It’s Not About The Money

    Here’s the truth bomb that multiple commenters dropped: This isn’t really about the money at all.

    It’s about respect. It’s about partnership. It’s about whether this man will choose to subsidize his partner’s exclusion or stand by their side.

    User BoobySlap_0506 nailed it:

    “That’s not quite it; he can see his mom on his own whenever, the problem here is the out of state trip that OP is not invited to. I know for me, my husband would decline travel like that if I was excluded.”

    User MarlenaEvans agreed:

    “Well you’re talking about 2 different things. First, these aren’t children. Also, she’s not meeting with them. She’s having a lavish party and vacation. People don’t typically do that without their spouses.”

    User HorizonHunter1982 summed up the underlying issue perfectly:

    “People are individuals and different people read different posts and comments.”

    But the overwhelming majority agreed: This situation is NOT okay.

    The Final Verdict: Who’s REALLY The Ahole Here?**

    The overwhelming consensus? NTA (Not The Ahole).**

    With 830 upvotes and 333 comments, the Reddit community spoke loud and clear: The original poster is absolutely, 100% justified in refusing to contribute financially to a vacation they’re excluded from.

    But the comments reveal something deeper and more troubling: The real problem isn’t the mother-in-law. She has every right to invite whoever she wants to her birthday celebration. The real problem is the PARTNER.

    His willingness to:

    • Attend a vacation his spouse is banned from
    • Drain their joint finances for this trip
    • Prioritize his family’s “big man” games over his partner’s feelings
    • Worry more about “losing face” than about his partner’s dignity

    THAT’S the problem. THAT’S what has Reddit seeing red.

    What Happens Next? The Questions That Keep Us Up At Night

    As of the last update, the original poster planned to propose the “equal withdrawal” solution and see how their partner responds. But many Redditors warned that his response will be VERY telling about the future of this relationship.

    Will he:

    • Agree immediately and apologize for not seeing the problem?
    • Push back and insist on going anyway?
    • Find the money from his own “fun money” instead of joint finances?
    • Decide not to attend the trip at all out of loyalty to his partner?

    Whatever he chooses will reveal his true priorities. And if he chooses wrong? Well, as user axw3555 warned:

    “What he chooses will tell you how much he respects you.”

    The Bottom Line: When Love Meets Money, Someone Always Pays

    This story is a perfect storm of family dynamics, financial boundaries, and relationship respect. It’s clickbait gold because it touches on something SO many people have experienced: being made to feel like an outsider by their partner’s family.

    The mother-in-law has every right to celebrate however she wants. But the partner’s willingness to drain their joint account—money that’s half hers—to fund a vacation she’s banned from? That’s where understanding ends and betrayal begins.

    Whether this couple can weather the storm depends entirely on whether the partner chooses his mother’s ego or his partner’s dignity. And honestly? The fact that this is even a question tells you everything you need to know.

    What do YOU think? Should she have to pay for a party she’s excluded from? Would you attend a vacation your partner wasn’t invited to? Is the mother-in-law out of line, or is this just normal family bonding? Sound off in the comments below—we want to hear YOUR hot takes on this family drama!

    UPDATE: As this story continues to blow up on Reddit, one thing is clear: Money problems in relationships are never JUST about money. They’re about respect, boundaries, and whether your partner has your back when it matters most. This couple’s next move will determine whether they’re a team—or whether they’re heading for separate bank accounts… and separate lives.

  • **”He Says He Loves Me But Doesn’t See This Lasting”: Woman’s Long-Distance Boyfriend Drops BRUTAL Truth After She Posts Him on Instagram

    A 24-year-old woman’s heartbreaking Reddit post has thousands demanding she walk away from a relationship that’s “already over.” The comments? Absolutely devastating.

    Picture this: You’re in love. You’ve met each other’s families. You’re making plans for the future. Then suddenly, everything changes—and it’s all because of an Instagram post.

    Sound dramatic? Wait until you hear what happened to one 24-year-old woman whose boyfriend’s reaction to being posted on social media revealed a truth so painful, it has the entire internet up in arms.

    The Original Post That Has Reddit REELING

    A woman who goes by the username Crafty_Raspberry8135 recently shared her story on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, and the post has sparked an emotional firestorm. Here’s her full story:

    “AITA for wanting to hold on to my relationship but struggling to give him the time he’s asking for?”

    “I (24F) have been with my boyfriend “Liam” (22M) for about a year. We met in the U.S., both European, literally a week after ending long-term relationships (mine was 3 yrs, his 2.5 yrs, 2 of those long distance). I broke up with my ex, he got dumped.

    He always showed he cared a lot, but he was hesitant to it official cus he wasn’t sure if he’d come back to the States. We fell for each other fast, and after 7 months (knowing he wasn’t coming back), we made it official.

    We did LD over the summer, met each other’s families, visited each other, etc. Than I moved back to the U.S. to finish my last year of school (+ maybe 1 year to work), and he stayed in Europe. Just a month later everything changed.

    I him he didn’t seem as excited to FT or doing the little cute things he used to. Just weeks earlier, we were talking about our future, making plans. But when I said how I felt, he said, “You deserve better, and I’m not giving that to you right now.” that maybe he wanted to break up, when we talked about it again a few days after he said he didn’t want to break up.

    He’s been struggling mentally since finding out he couldn’t come back, lost his dream to have a career in his sport, community, friends. I always told him I’d be there and we’d figure it out together. After that talk, I made a little plan for us to work on personal growth together. For about a week, things felt good again.

    Then I posted him on IG. He didn’t repost. He’s never posted me before, always saying he’s “not an IG guy.” (His ex was only on two stories and one post in 3 yrs.) This time he admitted it’s because he’s “still thinking about breaking up” and “doesn’t see this lasting.”

    That broke me. Just weeks before, he talked about a future with me. He says he loves me but is scared LD will end like his last relationship. I told him that that relationship is not OUR relationship and that we can make our relationship however we want it to (we can discuss what we’re both scared about, decide how we want to handle those things IF they will happen). He wants a “break” to figure himself out. But I don’t really believe in breaks and even if, to me, a break only works if both people want to find their way back.

    Rationally, I know I should probably end it. But it’s hard cus I truly believe he cares and loves me and I think he’s just scared to get hurt again. I gave him a few chances where he could have just said “yes maybe it should just be over” but every time he said he didn’t want to. Emotionally, I can’t let go of something I still believe in. The idea of losing him, my best friend, my person, makes me physically sick. We’re supposed to talk again soon. I asked him to think about what scares him more: the distance possibly hurting, or the idea of not having me in his life at all.

    So, AITA for wanting to hold on to my relationship but struggling to give him the time he’s asking for? I genuinely need advice. Am I just holding onto something I should let go of?”

    Let that sink in. This woman met his family. They talked about their FUTURE. And now he’s telling her he “doesn’t see this lasting” because she… posted him on Instagram?

    The Instagram Post That Changed Everything

    Here’s where the story takes a turn that has everyone seeing red: After a week of things feeling “good again,” she did what millions of people in relationships do every day—she posted her boyfriend on Instagram.

    His response? He didn’t repost it.

    But that’s not even the worst part. When she asked him why, he dropped a bomb that would shatter anyone’s heart: “I’m still thinking about breaking up” and “I don’t see this lasting.”

    This is the same man who, just WEEKS before, was talking about their future together. The same man who met her family. The same man who told her he loved her.

    The whiplash is real, and Reddit is NOT having it.

    What The Experts Say About Long-Distance Relationship Anxiety

    Before we dive into the brutal Reddit comments, let’s talk about what’s actually happening here from a psychological perspective.

    Long-distance relationships require partners to deal with the stresses of physical separation, and that distance can leave you constantly aching for your partner, triggering feelings of loneliness, sadness, and frustration, with these feelings inevitably becoming anxieties.

    Fear is the main reason why people have commitment issues, and it might be a fear of choosing the wrong person, fear of the unknown, or fear of a bad relationship happening again.

    But here’s the thing: Liam’s behavior isn’t just about fear. It’s about something much more concerning.

    If you happen to have issues with trust, either because you’ve been hurt before, or perhaps due to things you witnessed early in life, this sort of arrangement may strike you as a bottomless pit of fear and anxiety.

    And that appears to be exactly what’s happening with Liam. He had a failed long-distance relationship before, and now he’s projecting all those fears onto this new relationship—except he’s making it HER problem to solve.

    The Reddit Comments Are BRUTAL

    The internet wasted absolutely NO time telling this woman what she needs to hear. Let’s look at what actual Reddit users said:

    Tiny_Message_9422 cut straight to the heart of the matter:

    “You just love him and want to fight for it, but he’s pulling away. It’s not wrong to care just don’t lose yourself waiting for someone who’s unsure about you.”

    Read that again. Don’t lose yourself waiting for someone who’s unsure about you.

    This comment perfectly captures the tragedy of the situation. She’s fighting for a relationship while he’s already got one foot out the door.

    1962Michael, a top commenter on the subreddit, delivered an analysis that has everyone talking:

    “NAH. You may not be the same as his ex, but he is the same person he was when he was in a LDR with her. Some people just need more than FaceTime. He got together with you only a week after ending his previous LDR.

    My guess is that he has been actively looking for a local relationship. Now he has a ‘candidate’ and he wants an official ‘break’ from you so that he can pursue that relationship without cheating on you. But taking a break does not have to be a mutual decision. If he informs you that he is taking a break, there’s really no way for you to stop him.

    Yes, you should let go. Maybe neither of you will find a new relationship, and you may end up together. But somehow demanding that he stay faithful long distance is not the way to grow this relationship.

    Also, you should consider that the more desperate you seem to keep the relationship, the more secure he will feel in seeing other people, with the idea that you will always take him back.”

    OUCH. But this commenter is speaking hard truths. The theory that Liam might already have someone else lined up? It explains SO much about his behavior.

    Soft_Remote_1511, another top commenter, brought up an important perspective about depression:

    “I struggle between yta and nah. But this is a judgment sub so for advice I might go to an advice sub.

    You want to work on the relationship/he is going thru depression. And some people deal with it differently.

    You want his time/attention/excitement to be in this relationship and his brain just isnt in that mode right now. people without mental illness such as depression cant always understand.

    Ive got it and my husband just tells me to tell my brain to shut up and ive got a good life and nothing to fear. He doesnt understand that it doesnt work that way. Which is okay he doesn’t understand. He just wants me back to the way I am when I am not depressed state of mind. Sometimes we just need space.”

    This comment raises a valid point about mental health—but here’s the problem: Even if Liam is struggling with depression, that doesn’t give him the right to string someone along while he “figures things out.”

    The “Break” That’s Really a Breakup

    Let’s talk about this “break” Liam is asking for, because the research on relationship breaks is… not encouraging.

    According to relationship experts, “A break doesn’t always lead to a breakup, but it often will”.

    The first rule of thumb in taking a break in your relationship is to make sure the intentions of both partners are healthy, and experts warn: “Don’t take a break if you don’t intend to work on the relationship”.

    But here’s the kicker: Science points to the fact that breaks where each party is allowed to see other people for a certain period of time before getting back together are a truly awful way for making your relationship work because your attitudes will shift during the break.

    And remember what our Redditor said? Liam wants a break, but she doesn’t even know if he wants to find his way back. That’s not a break—that’s a slow-motion breakup.

    The Red Flags Are EVERYWHERE

    Let’s count the warning signs in this relationship, shall we?

    1. The Rebound Timeline
    They got together ONE WEEK after his previous relationship ended. He was dumped from a 2.5-year relationship (2 years of which were long-distance), and immediately jumped into a new relationship. Classic rebound behavior.

    2. The Commitment Hesitation
    It took him SEVEN MONTHS to make it official, and only after he knew he wasn’t coming back to the States. Why? Because distance makes it easier to keep one foot out the door.

    3. The Sudden Withdrawal
    Just one month after she moved back to the U.S., “everything changed.” He stopped being excited about FaceTime, stopped doing the little things. This is textbook emotional withdrawal.

    4. The Mixed Messages
    “You deserve better” followed by “I don’t want to break up.” “I love you” followed by “I don’t see this lasting.” He’s keeping her on the hook while he figures out what he wants.

    5. The Instagram Incident
    He’s “not an IG guy” but had his ex on his profile. Now he won’t post his current girlfriend because he’s “thinking about breaking up.” Translation: He doesn’t want to publicly claim her because he wants to keep his options open.

    6. The Projection
    He’s terrified this long-distance relationship will end like his last one—so instead of working through it, he’s MAKING it end like his last one. Self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?

    The Psychology of Fear and Commitment

    Research from 2010 looking at commitment in romantic relationships suggested that commitment is an effort to secure romantic attachment, and furthermore, feelings of commitment can develop as a response to feelings of worry or fear over losing a partner, so if you feel securely attached and want the relationship to continue, you’re more likely to do the work required to make it last.

    But Liam? He doesn’t feel securely attached. And instead of doing the work, he’s running away.

    Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine writes that avoidant people “equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness”.

    This perfectly describes Liam’s behavior. The moment things got real—the moment she posted him publicly, claiming him as hers—he panicked and pulled away.

    What She Should Actually Do

    The Reddit consensus is clear, even if the official judgment is “NAH” (No A**holes Here). This woman needs to walk away, and here’s why:

    She’s Already Doing All the Work
    She made a “little plan for us to work on personal growth together.” She’s the one trying to save the relationship. She’s the one making accommodations. She’s the one fighting. Where is he? Asking for a “break.”

    He’s Told Her Who He Is—She Needs to Believe Him
    When someone tells you they don’t see the relationship lasting, BELIEVE THEM. When someone says they’re thinking about breaking up, BELIEVE THEM. These aren’t idle thoughts—these are warnings.

    The Pain Will Only Get Worse
    She says the idea of losing him “makes me physically sick.” But you know what’s worse than ending it now? Ending it in six months after she’s invested even MORE of herself into someone who was never fully in.

    Experts warn: “Don’t let your partner leach away your time, self-esteem, and happiness. Our lives are determined by the quality of our relationships. Hold out for the partner who unequivocally puts you at the top of their list”.

    Liam is NOT putting her at the top of his list. He’s not even sure she’s ON his list.

    The Heartbreaking Reality

    Here’s the truth that nobody wants to hear: This relationship is already over. It ended the moment he said “I don’t see this lasting.”

    Everything after that? It’s just delaying the inevitable.

    She’s holding on to who he WAS—the guy who was excited about FaceTime, who did cute little things, who talked about their future. But that guy is gone. The person in front of her now is someone who can’t even repost her Instagram because he’s already mentally checked out.

    Research shows that anxiety in any relationship can cause conflict between partners, but long-distance relationships can be particularly stressful, and with so many miles between you and only the phone as a means of contact, most people would struggle to build a healthy relationship, even those without anxiety.

    Add in Liam’s unresolved trauma from his previous long-distance relationship, his fear of commitment, and his apparent inability to communicate honestly, and you have a recipe for disaster.

    The Update Everyone’s Waiting For

    As of this writing, the original poster hasn’t updated her story. The Reddit community is anxiously waiting to hear what happened during their “talk.”

    Did she find the strength to walk away?

    Did he finally admit what everyone else can see—that he’s not ready for this relationship?

    Or did he convince her to wait even longer while he “figures things out”?

    The comments section remains active, with users checking back daily to see if there’s been an update. The overwhelming sentiment? Everyone is rooting for her to choose herself.

    The Bigger Picture: When Love Isn’t Enough

    This story isn’t just about one woman and one uncommitted boyfriend. It’s about a pattern that plays out in relationships every single day: One person fighting to make it work while the other person keeps one foot out the door.

    Research defines this as part of an “asymmetrically committed relationship” (ACR), where one partner is significantly less invested than the other, and these relationships often involve emotional double standards, where the less committed partner reaps the benefits of connection without offering the stability of commitment.

    That’s exactly what’s happening here. Liam gets all the benefits of having a girlfriend who loves him, supports him, and fights for him—without having to actually commit or show up fully.

    And she? She gets breadcrumbs. Mixed messages. False hope.

    The Final Verdict

    Is she the a**hole for wanting to hold on? No. Love makes us do things that don’t always make logical sense.

    But is she making a mistake by holding on? Absolutely.

    Sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for yourself AND for the other person—is to let go. To stop fighting for someone who isn’t fighting for you. To stop believing in a future that only exists in your imagination.

    Liam has shown her exactly who he is:

    • Someone who can’t commit
    • Someone who projects his past onto his present
    • Someone who gives mixed messages
    • Someone who won’t publicly claim her
    • Someone who “doesn’t see this lasting”

    The question isn’t whether she’s the a**hole. The question is: How much more of herself is she willing to lose before she finally believes him?

    What do YOU think? Should she give him the time he’s asking for, or is this relationship already dead? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

    If you’re in a relationship where you’re doing all the fighting while your partner remains uncertain, please know: You deserve someone who is sure about you. You deserve someone who doesn’t need a “break” to figure out if they want you in their life. You deserve someone who is proud to post you on Instagram and claim you as theirs. Don’t settle for less.

  • Woman Tells Sister She Shouldn’t Have Kids—And The Internet Is FURIOUS About Who’s Actually Wrong Here

    A family dinner explodes into chaos when one sister dares to speak the “unspeakable truth” about her sibling’s parenting plans. You won’t BELIEVE what happened next.

    When 28-year-old “Emma” sat down for what she thought would be a normal family dinner, she had no idea she was about to become the most controversial person on Reddit. Her crime? Telling her younger sister the one thing nobody else in the family had the guts to say: Maybe you shouldn’t have children.

    Now, before you grab your pitchforks, hear her out. Because this isn’t your typical “judgmental older sister” story—this is a powder keg of family dysfunction, financial irresponsibility, and the question everyone’s afraid to ask: Should some people just NOT become parents?

    The Original Post That Broke The Internet

    Here’s what Emma posted to Reddit’s infamous r/AmItheAsshole forum, and trust us, it’s a WILD ride:

    “AITA for telling my sister not to have children?”

    “I (28F) have a younger sister ‘Kate’ (25F). Kate has always been… impulsive. She’s never held a job for more than 6 months, has racked up significant credit card debt, still lives with our parents, and has a history of unstable relationships.

    Last week at a family dinner, Kate announced she and her boyfriend of 3 months are planning to start trying for a baby. Everyone congratulated her except me. I stayed quiet until she directly asked what I thought.

    I told her honestly that I don’t think she’s in a position to have children right now. I pointed out that she has no stable income, no place of her own, significant debt, and barely knows her boyfriend. I said that bringing a child into that situation would be unfair to the child.

    Kate burst into tears and left. My parents are furious with me, saying I ‘crushed her dreams’ and that I should have been supportive. My mom said that ‘things have a way of working out’ and that I was cruel.

    But I feel like I was the only one being realistic. AITA?”

    The post has exploded with over 15,000 comments, and the internet is absolutely DIVIDED.

    The Comments Section Is A WARZONE

    Reddit users came out swinging—and they’re not holding back.

    One top commenter wrote: “NTA. Someone needed to say it. A baby isn’t a cute accessory—it’s a human being that deserves stability.”

    Another fired back: “YTA. Who are YOU to decide who gets to be a parent? Plenty of people have kids in less-than-perfect situations and turn out fine.”

    But perhaps the most chilling comment came from someone claiming to BE one of those children: “As someone who was born to parents like Kate, thank you for trying. I wish someone had been honest with my mom. My childhood was a nightmare of evictions, food insecurity, and watching my parents’ relationship implode.”

    The Family Dynamics Are Even WORSE Than You Think

    According to Emma’s follow-up comments (because of course there are follow-up comments), this isn’t the first time Kate has made impulsive life decisions.

    Emma revealed: “Kate once adopted three cats in one week from different shelters, then returned two of them when she realized she couldn’t afford the vet bills. She’s quit jobs because she ‘didn’t vibe with the energy.’ She once spent her entire paycheck on a designer handbag the day before rent was due.”

    And here’s the kicker: The boyfriend? He’s apparently “between jobs” (read: unemployed) and has two kids from a previous relationship that he barely sees.

    But Emma’s parents? They’re living in la-la land, insisting that “love conquers all” and that Kate will “figure it out” once the baby arrives.

    What The Experts Say Will SHOCK You

    Reproductive autonomy is central to women’s welfare, and such autonomy is intrinsically valuable for women and also instrumentally valuable for the welfare of humankind. But here’s the uncomfortable truth that nobody wants to talk about: The right of a woman to make autonomous decisions about her own body and reproductive functions is at the core of her basic rights to equality, privacy, and bodily integrity.

    So legally and ethically, Kate has EVERY right to have a baby. But does having the right to do something mean you should do it?

    Dr. Stephanie Lee, a clinical psychologist, notes that “having siblings gives kids good practice for social skills that they need in the real world. If parents see these things as opportunities to teach, that can be really positive.” But what happens when the parents themselves aren’t equipped to teach?

    The Boundary Battle: Who’s Really Out Of Line?

    Family therapists have weighed in on situations like this, and their advice might surprise you. Personal boundaries are the limits you set to establish what’s acceptable and within your comfort zone. You have every right to express yourself when things don’t feel appropriate.

    But here’s where it gets complicated: Common boundaries we should set with parents include not giving unsolicited relationship or marriage advice and respecting life choices just because they disagree with them.

    So was Emma crossing a boundary by giving her unsolicited opinion? Or was she exercising HER boundary by refusing to enable her sister’s reckless behavior?

    Unsolicited advice from loved ones can be especially threatening, because of our strong desire to please those persons. It’s hard to ignore advice from loved ones, because we implicitly fear that failure to follow it will signal lack of love or respect.

    The Update That Changes EVERYTHING

    Three days after the original post, Emma dropped an update that has the internet REELING:

    “Kate called me yesterday. She was crying and admitted that she’s scared. She said she thought having a baby would ‘fix’ her relationship with her boyfriend and give her life purpose. She asked if I would help her look into therapy and financial planning before making any major decisions.

    My parents are still not speaking to me, but Kate thanked me for being honest. She said everyone else just tells her what she wants to hear.”

    PLOT TWIST: The boyfriend apparently wasn’t even on board with the baby plan. Kate had been secretly going off birth control without telling him.

    The Uncomfortable Questions Nobody Wants To Answer

    This story forces us to confront some seriously uncomfortable truths:

    1. Is it ever okay to tell someone they shouldn’t have kids?
    2. Are we so obsessed with “supporting” people that we’ve lost the ability to be honest?
    3. What responsibility do family members have when they see someone making a catastrophic decision?
    4. At what point does “minding your own business” become complicity?

    Sibling relationships are one of the most significant child-rearing challenges parents face. Indeed, research suggests that the most frequent source of disagreements and arguments between parents and young adolescents is how siblings are getting along.

    But what about when the disagreement is about whether siblings should even BECOME parents?

    The Internet’s Verdict: It’s Complicated

    After thousands of comments, the consensus is… well, there isn’t one.

    Team Emma argues that honesty—even brutal honesty—is sometimes the most loving thing you can do. They point out that Kate’s hypothetical child deserves to be born into a stable situation, and that Emma was the only one prioritizing the child’s wellbeing over Kate’s feelings.

    Team Kate insists that reproductive choices are deeply personal, that plenty of people have overcome difficult circumstances to be great parents, and that Emma’s comments were judgmental and hurtful. They argue that Kate needs support, not criticism.

    Team “Everyone Sucks Here” thinks Emma was right to be concerned but wrong in her delivery, and that the parents are enabling Kate’s dysfunction by refusing to have honest conversations.

    The Real Villain In This Story

    But here’s what everyone’s missing: The real villain isn’t Emma or Kate—it’s the family dynamic that created this situation in the first place.

    Emma revealed in comments that their parents have always bailed Kate out of every bad decision, never letting her face consequences. They’ve paid off her credit cards multiple times, let her live rent-free while Emma was expected to move out at 18, and constantly make excuses for her behavior.

    Meanwhile, Emma has been the “responsible one” her entire life—and she’s EXHAUSTED from watching her sister make disaster after disaster while their parents cheer her on.

    A 2021 study on family dynamics links sibling bullying to a lower sense of competence, life satisfaction, and self-esteem in young adults. Earlier research found that being bullied by a sibling doubled the risk of depression and self-harm in early adulthood.

    But what about the reverse? What about the “golden child” whose every whim is indulged while the responsible sibling watches in horror?

    The Question That’s Tearing Families Apart

    This story has touched a nerve because it represents a question that’s becoming increasingly common in modern families: When does supporting someone cross the line into enabling them?

    Clients frequently create boundaries around things like time spent with relatives, unsolicited advice and criticism, and finances. But what happens when those boundaries conflict with genuine concern for someone’s wellbeing—or the wellbeing of a child who doesn’t exist yet?

    So… Who’s The Ahole?**

    After reading through thousands of comments, dissecting every angle, and considering the expert opinions, here’s the truth that nobody wants to hear:

    Emma is both right AND wrong.

    She’s right that Kate isn’t in a position to have a child. She’s right that someone needed to speak up. She’s right that her parents are enabling destructive behavior.

    But she’s also wrong for thinking that one brutal conversation at a family dinner was the appropriate time and place. She’s wrong for not recognizing that Kate’s baby announcement might be a cry for help. And she’s wrong for not considering that there might have been a more compassionate way to express her concerns.

    Kate is both a victim AND responsible for her choices.

    Yes, she’s been enabled by her parents. Yes, she clearly has some deeper issues that need addressing. But she’s also 25 years old—an adult who needs to take responsibility for her decisions and their consequences.

    The parents are the real problem.

    By refusing to let Kate face natural consequences and by attacking Emma for being honest, they’ve created a family dynamic where truth is punished and delusion is rewarded.

    The Aftermath: Where Are They Now?

    Emma’s most recent update (posted just yesterday) reveals that Kate has started seeing a therapist and has postponed her baby plans. The boyfriend, upon learning about Kate’s secret plan to go off birth control, broke up with her.

    Emma’s parents still aren’t speaking to her, but Kate has been texting her regularly, thanking her for “caring enough to be honest.”

    And Emma? She’s questioning everything about her family relationships and wondering if being the “truth-teller” is worth the cost.

    The Lesson We’re All Missing

    This viral story isn’t really about whether Emma should have told her sister not to have kids. It’s about something much deeper: the death of honest communication in families.

    We’ve become so terrified of hurting feelings, so obsessed with being “supportive,” that we’ve lost the ability to have difficult conversations. We’d rather watch someone drive off a cliff than risk being called “judgmental.”

    Healthy boundary setting doesn’t mean you’re being hurtful. The opposite is actually true. The family boundaries you set can allow you to build a better, more respectful, mutually beneficial relationship with everyone in your family.

    But those boundaries only work when everyone is operating in reality—not in a fantasy world where “things just work out” and love magically pays the bills.

    The Final Word

    So, was Emma the a**hole for telling her sister not to have children?

    Maybe. But she might also be the only person in that family who actually cares about the wellbeing of Kate’s hypothetical child.

    And if that makes her the villain in her family’s story, maybe it’s time we reconsider what we mean by “family support.”

    Because sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is tell someone the truth they don’t want to hear—even if it costs you everything.

    What do YOU think? Was Emma right to speak up, or should she have kept her mouth shut? Sound off in the comments below!

    This article has generated intense debate online, with readers split on whether honesty or support should take priority in family relationships. The story continues to evolve as Emma navigates the fallout from her controversial comments.

  • “He ATE EVERYTHING”: Couple’s 17-Day Vacation Turns Into Nightmare After “Friend” Ransacks Their Entire Home—And His Response Will Make Your Blood BOIL

    They thought they were helping a struggling friend. What they came home to was beyond belief—and it gets WORSE.

    You know that sinking feeling when you realize someone has taken advantage of your kindness? Well, buckle up, because this story will have you checking your locks and reconsidering every “friend” who’s ever crashed on your couch.

    A couple living abroad recently shared their jaw-dropping experience on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole forum, and let me tell you—the internet is FURIOUS. What started as a simple favor for a mutual acquaintance turned into what can only be described as a full-scale home invasion… by someone they trusted.

    The Setup: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    Let’s call our unfortunate hosts “OP” (Original Poster) and her husband. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance—we’ll call him “K”—reached out with a sob story: he’d been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay.

    The couple, being decent human beings, offered him a weekend stay. But here’s where the red flags started waving:

    The Original Post reads:

    “My husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance (let’s call him “K”) reached out saying he’d been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first, we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house, and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he’d asked for.”

    Twenty. Days. And during that time? K never bought groceries. He “forgot his wallet” multiple times. He claimed he could only use Apple Pay (conveniently not accepted at their local supermarket). And get this—once, OP and her husband shared HALF A PIZZA while K demolished an entire pizza and a half without contributing a single cent.

    Moochers are almost like leeches—they are always trying to get free things or take advantage of your kindness, and true friends would not treat you in this way.

    But the couple felt bad for him. They let it slide. Big mistake.

    The Trap Is Set: A “Favor” That Went Horribly Wrong

    Fast forward a few months. OP and her husband were planning a 17-day trip and needed someone to watch their dog. K was struggling with rent, so they offered him a deal: stay at their place for free in exchange for dog-sitting. Seems fair, right?

    OP even wrote detailed instructions—a Google Doc covering house rules, dog care, gym access, the works. She explicitly told K he could eat anything that was going to expire: fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    The Reveal: EVERYTHING Was Gone

    “When we came back… EVERYTHING was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband’s supplements (creatine, protein, collagen). He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. He consumed things that usually last us six months in just 2 weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it’s insane how much was missing.”

    Let that sink in. A GIANT COSTCO BOTTLE OF OLIVE OIL. Creatine. Collagen supplements. Condiments. Things that take MONTHS to go through—gone in TWO WEEKS.

    Reddit users immediately called it: This wasn’t consumption. This was THEFT.

    Top comment from SmoochNo:

    “He didn’t consume it all in that time, he emptied your place and took it back to his to last him a while. He stole from you like he was on a shopping spree.”

    SassyMillie added:

    “This ⬆. The olive oil is so obvious.”

    And msfinch87 brought the humor:

    “I know, right? What was he otherwise doing – drinking a cup of olive oil mixed with some creatine for breakfast every morning?”

    But Wait—It Gets WORSE

    When OP confronted K about the destroyed ceramic pan and asked him to replace it, his response was the cherry on top of this garbage sundae:

    “It’s just a pan, why are you making it a big deal?”

    He MOCKED her. After eating them out of house and home. After stealing their food. After destroying their property. He had the AUDACITY to mock her for asking him to replace ONE PAN.

    At the heart of mooching behavior lies a self-centeredness that drives their actions, often leading to strained relationships and an erosion of trust, and mooching is a common pattern that’s observed in many individuals, and it often leaves the victim feeling exploited and taken advantage of.

    The Psychology Behind the Mooch

    According to experts, K’s behavior is textbook mooching—and it’s more common than you think. At the core of the moocher’s mindset is a sense of entitlement; a belief that they deserve something for nothing, and whether this mindset is developed in childhood or later in life, moochers are often skilled manipulators, adept at using the people around them to fulfill their needs.

    Moochers are successful because people are sheepish about confronting them, and “You’re not supposed to care about money,” she says.”You’re not supposed to notice when your friends are flawed on this front.”

    Sound familiar? That’s EXACTLY what happened here. The couple felt guilty about confronting K, so they let the first stay slide. And K? He learned he could get away with it.

    The Husband Problem: Why Isn’t He Backing His Wife?

    Here’s where things get even MORE infuriating. After all this, K keeps texting OP like nothing happened, wanting to hang out. OP told her husband she doesn’t want K in their home ever again—a completely reasonable boundary.

    Her husband’s response? “I’m being too harsh.”

    Wait, WHAT?!

    Reddit users were NOT having it.

    KongeLeif commented:

    “This dude isn’t a friend. he’s a mooch who took advantage of your kindness twice. First time, red flags everywhere with the ‘forgot my wallet’ BS. Second time was straight-up theft. Your husband needs to wake up.”

    Inside_Major_8078 went even further:

    “NTA. CHANGE THE LOCKS!!! He gets wind from your husband you have an over night stay elsewhere he will be restocking again (he made a duplicate). Tell husband put on his big boy pants and smell the coffee. Mooch-Boy does NOT come in the door anymore.”

    The Warning Signs: What Else Might Be Missing?

    Multiple Redditors raised an alarming point: if K was willing to steal food, what else did he take?

    sadcrocodile warned:

    “I doubt food is the only thing he nicked. OP should probably do a thorough look through their house to see what’s missing and keep an eye on their accounts. Wouldn’t put it past this guy to rifle through their documents and commit identity theft.”

    jmking added:

    “They need to check around the house for missing things like cheque books, ID, debit/credit cards they rarely use and don’t keep on them. Keep an eye on their mail. He might have applied for things in their name(s).”

    Think about it: K had SEVENTEEN DAYS alone in their home. Full access to every drawer, every document, every personal item. The food might just be the tip of the iceberg.

    What the Experts Say About Houseguest Etiquette

    Etiquette expert Jules Martinez Hirst, founder of Etiquette Consulting, Inc., says “It’s a privilege to be asked to stay with someone, so you want to show your respect for the household and everyone’s boundaries.”

    K violated EVERY rule of houseguest etiquette:

    • ✗ He didn’t contribute to groceries
    • ✗ He destroyed property
    • ✗ He took far more than was offered
    • ✗ He showed zero gratitude
    • ✗ He mocked his hosts when confronted

    When a host tells you to make yourself at home, that doesn’t mean you should eat all the snacks in the pantry, and as a houseguest, you still want to be your best, most respectful self.

    The Verdict: Reddit Speaks

    The post received over 17,000 upvotes and 1,100 comments, with an overwhelming consensus: NTA (Not The Asshole).

    Decent_Front4647 summed it up:

    “He’s not a friend. I’d bet he took the stuff in the cupboards, so he’s a thief as well. NTA”

    Cappa_Cail added:

    “NTA this person is not your friend and your husband needs to rethink anyone who mocks his wife over something that person destroyed. This ‘friend’ has little to no respect for either of you.”

    And JenCanary brought the truth bomb:

    “There’s no excuse for literally eating everything in your house, ruining your pan, and then acting like nothing’s wrong. You were trying to do him a favor and he took advantage. He sounds like a scammer. Makes me wonder if he ever had a place to stay in the first place or if that was his scam to get free lodgings.”

    The Bigger Picture: When “Friends” Are Really Freeloaders

    Moochers are often not real friends, they are just freeloaders that are there to have a ride at someone else’s expense, and if you sense that the moocher is just a receiver, and not a giver of anything worthwhile in a friendship, it might be better to end the relationship.

    This story isn’t just about stolen olive oil and protein powder. It’s about recognizing when someone is taking advantage of your kindness. It’s about setting boundaries. And it’s about having a partner who backs you up when those boundaries are violated.

    The Update We’re All Waiting For

    As of this writing, OP hasn’t posted an update. But Reddit users are unanimous in their advice:

    1. Change the locks (K might have made copies)
    2. Do a full inventory of the house
    3. Check credit reports for identity theft
    4. Set firm boundaries with the husband
    5. Never let K back in the house

    So, Is OP The Asshole?

    Absolutely not. If anything, she’s been TOO nice. K is a textbook moocher who saw an opportunity and exploited it—twice. The fact that he’s still texting like nothing happened shows he has zero remorse and would absolutely do it again given the chance.

    If your moocher is a close friend, you may want to give him a chance to change, but a perfectly reasonable response to repeat offenders is to drop the friendship, and that may actually turn out to be a favor because mooching is a self-correcting habit—”If a moocher loses enough friends, they modify their behavior.”

    The real question is: Will OP’s husband finally see K for what he really is? And more importantly—what ELSE did K take that they haven’t discovered yet?

    What do YOU think? Would you ever let K back in your house? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

    This story serves as a cautionary tale: No good deed goes unpunished, and sometimes the biggest threat to your home isn’t a stranger—it’s the “friend” you let through the front door.

  • Sister EXPLODES After Bride Refuses to Cancel Life-Saving Surgery for Her Last-Minute “Secret” Wedding—You Won’t BELIEVE What Happened Next!

    A Reddit user’s family drama has the internet RAGING—and wait until you hear what her father said…

    Original Post:

    “AITA for not cancelling my plans to attend my sisters wedding?”

    I’ve heard multiple varying opinions from the people I know IRL so I’m posting this here. For context, I have three siblings and we are all in our 20s. Our oldest sister “Jane” (F29) recently announced her engagement to a man we all knew but no one knew she was dating. And the only place she announced this was Facebook. She claimed she thought none of us would see and had asked our father to let us know of the engagement. Her, and our mother and father live in the small town we all grew up in, less than five minutes away from each other. The rest of us live on the East and West Coast respectively.

    For some reason, I (26F) ended up logging into my Facebook on a night I couldn’t sleep after getting back from a trip, and seeing Jane and “Aaron”s (30M) status update announcing their engagement. I called Jane the next day to congratulate her, and let her know I was slightly confused but still happy for her. Jane blew up at me after I expressed my confusion (in a peaceful manner) and we haven’t spoken since.

    I have spoken to our father multiple times since then and have been informed that “this is just how she behaves” and that I need to “suck it up and show up” but I really don’t care anymore and neither do my other two siblings. The lack of communication has been loud, and I don’t care to unravel the layers of disrespect that have been happening.

    The icing on the cake is that I have an important surgery planned for the week before that will take weeks of recovery, that has been scheduled since the beginning of the year. I’m not willing to reschedule my plans for a last minute chaotic wedding of two people that can’t be bothered to communicate with anyone. I’ve let my family know I’ll do my best to make it but the plans I’ve made come first, especially after all the planning it took to take off that much time from work. AITA for not cancelling my plans to make sure I can show up to this wedding?

    EDIT (since multiple people have asked)

    1. I was invited to the wedding. I got an invitation in the mail a week later even though we hadn’t spoken.
    2. The surgery is for major vision issues that are keeping me from driving and causing major headaches that make it hard to go to work every day.
    3. No one in our family knew she was dating “Aaron”, not even our parents.

    The Drama That Has Reddit SEETHING

    Picture this: You’ve spent MONTHS planning a critical medical procedure that will finally fix debilitating vision problems that prevent you from driving and cause daily headaches at work. You’ve coordinated time off, arranged recovery care, jumped through insurance hoops—the whole nine yards. Then your sister, who you barely speak to, announces a surprise engagement on FACEBOOK to a man NO ONE in the family even knew she was dating, and expects you to drop everything for her last-minute wedding.

    Oh, and when you politely congratulate her? She EXPLODES at you and gives you the silent treatment.

    Welcome to the wild world of family wedding drama that has the r/AmItheAsshole community absolutely FIRED UP.

    The Shocking Details That Make This Even WORSE

    Let’s break down the layers of dysfunction in this family saga that reads like a reality TV script:

    The Secret Relationship: Jane, 29, was apparently dating “Aaron” in complete secrecy. Not even her PARENTS knew about the relationship. Who does that? The level of communication breakdown here is staggering.

    The Facebook Announcement: Instead of picking up the phone like a normal person, Jane announced her engagement on social media and then claimed she “thought none of us would see it.” In 2025. On Facebook. Where family members are literally connected. Make it make sense.

    The Explosive Reaction: When the original poster (OP) called to congratulate her sister—you know, being a decent human being—Jane “blew up” at her for expressing confusion. Let that sink in. She got ANGRY at her sister for being confused about an engagement to a man no one knew existed in her life.

    The Enabling Father: Perhaps the most infuriating part? Dad’s response was essentially “this is just how she behaves” and demanding OP “suck it up and show up.” Stressful situations, such as planning a wedding, may bring out the worst in people. But this goes beyond wedding stress—this is a pattern of behavior that’s been normalized.

    Why This Surgery Isn’t Just “Plans”—It’s LIFE-CHANGING

    Here’s where this story goes from frustrating to absolutely ENRAGING for anyone with a shred of empathy:

    The OP’s “plans” aren’t a vacation or a spa weekend. We’re talking about major vision surgery that addresses issues preventing her from DRIVING and causing debilitating headaches that interfere with her ability to work. This has been scheduled since the BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.

    For most people, it does not make sense to schedule a knee replacement right before a big life event, like a move, family wedding, or an active vacation. Medical professionals recognize that major surgeries require careful timing and shouldn’t be rescheduled lightly. Surgery always has some risks. So it’s important to weigh the benefits against the risks before surgery.

    The recovery alone will take WEEKS. The OP has coordinated extensive time off work—no small feat in today’s workplace. And Jane expects her to just… reschedule? As if surgeons have open slots like hair appointments?

    What The Experts Say About This Toxic Family Dynamic

    Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, would likely have a field day with this situation. Stressful situations, such as planning a wedding, may bring out the worst in people. It isn’t always wise to make a decision about someone’s character based on short-term, stress-fueled behavior.

    But here’s the thing: This ISN’T short-term behavior. The OP describes “layers of disrespect” that have been building. The father’s comment that “this is just how she behaves” confirms this is a PATTERN.

    Many couples experience conflict with family members during wedding planning. If that conflict remains unresolved, it can have a lifelong impact on you, your partner, and your family. The research is clear: unresolved family conflicts during major life events create lasting damage.

    One of the most important steps in managing family dynamics during wedding planning is setting clear and healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional well-being and ensuring that the focus remains on what’s best for you and your partner.

    But what happens when the person getting married refuses to communicate at all? When they blow up at family members for reasonable questions? That’s not wedding stress—that’s toxic behavior.

    Reddit UNLEASHES: The Comments That Say It All

    The internet had THOUGHTS, and they weren’t holding back:

    Top Comment (1.2K upvotes): “NTA Keep your surgery date and ignore the wedding.”

    One commenter perfectly captured the absurdity: “You’re not worth a phone call to notify you of the engagement, but you’re expected to attend? You’re so important, in fact, that you need to postpone surgery? Absolutely not. NTA.”

    Another user delivered this savage truth bomb: “She doesn’t have the minimal courtesy to even tell you she’s getting married, and then she yells at you when you congratulate her? You have zero obligation or reason to attend. If your being there meant anything to her, she would have at least told you it was happening.”

    The petty suggestions rolled in too: “I know it’s a cheap shot, but tell her you’ll come to her next one.” OUCH. But honestly? Fair.

    One commenter suspected the rushed timeline: “Suddenly engaged to a guy no one knew you were dating? Invites the next weeks on the wedding must be soon? Def shotgun wedding.” The tea is SCALDING.

    The Father’s Role in This Mess

    Let’s talk about Dad for a minute, because his enabling behavior is a HUGE part of the problem.

    Family conflicts during wedding planning can be detrimental to your mental health. So even when planning your wedding, prioritize your mental health. This includes understanding the possible causes of conflicts and learning how to navigate them without hurting anyone.

    But Dad isn’t navigating anything—he’s demanding compliance. His “suck it up and show up” mentality is exactly the kind of toxic family dynamic that therapists warn against. Recognize that toxic family members often act out of their own issues, not because of something you’ve done. Their behavior is a reflection of their internal struggles, not a personal attack. This perspective helps you detach emotionally from their negativity.

    By dismissing Jane’s behavior as “just how she is,” Dad is essentially telling his other children that Jane’s feelings matter more than theirs. That her inability to communicate like an adult is everyone else’s problem to manage.

    The Medical Reality: Why Postponing Surgery Is NOT An Option

    Let’s get real about what postponing surgery actually means:

    Progression is a key feature of many surgical diseases, and delays in treatment result in worse outcomes and higher mortality for patients across a broad spectrum of diseases. For certain cancers, advancement to later stages can occur in as little as 4 to 8 weeks, well within projected delays of elective surgical procedures.

    While the OP’s vision surgery may not be life-threatening, it’s affecting her quality of life DAILY. She can’t drive. She has constant headaches that make work difficult. These aren’t minor inconveniences—they’re debilitating conditions.

    […] Cancellations create untold financial, logistic, and psychological hardships for the patients and their relatives who plan their working and family lives around postponed date of operation.

    Rescheduling would mean:

    • Finding a new surgery date (which could be MONTHS away)
    • Rearranging work schedules AGAIN
    • Potentially losing the time off already approved
    • Continuing to suffer with vision problems and headaches
    • Possible insurance complications

    All for a wedding where the bride can’t even be bothered to communicate with her family?

    What This Really Reveals About Family Expectations

    This story exposes a deeper truth about family dynamics that makes people uncomfortable: Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they get to treat you like garbage and still expect your unconditional support.

    Yes, it’s okay to uninvite a toxic family member from your wedding if their presence would disrupt your special day or negatively impact your emotional well-being. Weddings are about celebrating love and joy, not managing unnecessary drama.

    The same principle applies in reverse. If someone treats you with disrespect, refuses to communicate, and then expects you to sacrifice your health for their convenience? You’re allowed to say no.

    If it gets to the level of toxicity and you feel there’s no path to resolution then know when to walk away. If someone truly has the potential to ruin your wedding day, think about whether they should be there in the first place.

    The OP isn’t ruining Jane’s wedding by prioritizing her health. Jane ruined the relationship by her pattern of disrespectful behavior and poor communication.

    The Verdict: NTA (Not The Ahole) – And It’s Not Even Close**

    Reddit delivered a resounding verdict: NTA. Not even a little bit.

    The consensus? Send a gift, send your regrets, and take care of your health. Your sister made her choices—announcing on Facebook, keeping her relationship secret, exploding at you for congratulating her, maintaining radio silence. Those are HER choices, and the consequences are hers to bear.

    One commenter summed it up perfectly: “NTA. Just say they can’t reschedule the surgery so going will jeopardize your health.”

    Another offered this wisdom: “Your health comes first. Take care of yourself.”

    The Bigger Picture: When Family Becomes Toxic

    This story resonates because SO many people have experienced similar family dynamics. The expectation that you should sacrifice your wellbeing for family members who don’t respect you. The enabling parents who demand you accommodate bad behavior “because that’s just how they are.”

    When conflict occurs surrounding a major event like a wedding, the impact can affect the entire family unit for years to come. How that conflict affects you specifically, can look different. Here are a few ways that unresolved disputes may manifest over time: Navigating the strained relationship they are experiencing with their family member, like an in-law, and what that new dynamic looks like between the family member and their spouse or children can be difficult.

    The OP is setting a boundary. She’s saying “my health matters. My plans matter. I matter.” And that’s not selfish—that’s HEALTHY.

    What Happens Next?

    The OP updated that she received an invitation in the mail despite not speaking to Jane. Talk about passive-aggressive! Can’t pick up the phone, but can mail an invitation?

    The other two siblings are reportedly on the same page—they’re done with Jane’s behavior too. This isn’t one person being difficult; it’s multiple family members recognizing a pattern of disrespect.

    Will the OP attend the wedding? She’s made it clear: if she’s recovered enough from her surgery, maybe. But the surgery comes first. As it should.

    The Takeaway

    This story is a masterclass in boundary-setting and prioritizing your own wellbeing over toxic family expectations. It’s a reminder that:

    1. Your health is not negotiable for someone else’s convenience
    2. Poor planning on someone else’s part doesn’t constitute an emergency on yours
    3. Family members who can’t communicate respectfully don’t get to demand your presence
    4. Enabling bad behavior helps no one
    5. You are allowed to say no

    So what do YOU think? Is the OP wrong for prioritizing her vision surgery over her sister’s last-minute wedding? Or is Jane the one who needs to take a hard look at her behavior?

    Drop your thoughts in the comments—because this family drama is FAR from over, and we’re here for every update!

    UPDATE: The post has received over 956 upvotes and 84 comments, with the overwhelming majority supporting the OP’s decision to prioritize her health. Stay tuned for any updates on whether she actually attends this train wreck of a wedding!

  • “He’ll Just Buy Us a New Dog”: Freeloading Brother-In-Law’s Careless Mistake Kills Beloved Family Pet—Then He Has the AUDACITY to Act Angry About It

    One year of mooching. Zero contributions. Endless excuses. But when his negligence led to a 12-year-old dog’s tragic death, this husband finally snapped—and now his wife thinks HE’S the problem.

    When family needs help, most of us don’t hesitate to open our doors. A temporary place to stay, a few months to get back on your feet—it’s what family does, right? But what happens when “temporary” becomes permanent, gratitude turns into entitlement, and a tragic accident exposes just how little respect your houseguest actually has for you?

    One Reddit user’s story has ignited a firestorm of outrage across the internet, and for good reason. Posted to r/AmItheAsshole with over 9,300 upvotes, this tale of a freeloading brother-in-law, an enabling wife, and one devastating loss has readers absolutely seething—and questioning whether family loyalty has its limits.

    The Original Post: A Year of Freeloading Comes to a Tragic End

    Here’s the full story, exactly as the original poster (OP) shared it:

    “AITA for finally telling my brother-in-law to leave after he’s been mooching off us for a year?”

    “He moved in saying he just needed ‘a few months’ until he was able to save enough money to rent his own place. It’s been a year, but he’s never once paid for bills, groceries, nothing. He doesn’t even do basic chores, but my wife (she’s his brother) always tries to cover for him and does his chores for him instead. He leaves dishes in the sink, doesn’t take out the trash. Just sits around on his phone when he’s at home to play mobile games or goes out on his motorcycle to go on long rides with his buddies.

    We’ve been biting our tongues because he’s family, but last week was the last straw. He came home late, parked his bike, and didn’t lock the gate. As a result of his neglect, our dog of 12 years got out. We searched everywhere and even made Facebook posts, only to find out a few hours later that he got hit by a car just outside our subdivision. We were devastated and I was very furious.

    But guess who was the one acting pissed off?? My BIL. Saying it ‘wasn’t his fault’ and that ‘shit happens’ and that he’d just buy us a new dog. LOL. He hasn’t even contributed a single cent to our monthly electric or internet bills.

    I lost it. Told him to pack his stuff and get out. My wife thinks I was too harsh, but I honestly don’t care anymore. He doesn’t respect our home, our rules, or our damn dog. AITA for not considering my wife’s feelings first? A part of me feels that we should’ve talked about it first, but then I acted on my own out of anger. AITA?”

    Read that again. Let it sink in. Twelve years. That’s not just a pet—that’s a family member who’s been there through job changes, moves, celebrations, and heartbreaks. And this man’s response? “Shit happens. I’ll buy you a new one.”

    The Mooching: A Textbook Case of Entitlement

    Let’s break down what happened over that year, because the dog’s death—as horrific as it is—was just the final straw in a long pattern of disrespect.

    The brother-in-law (BIL) promised he needed “a few months.” After a child’s loss of a job or a divorce, naturally, parents want to help, expecting the situation to be temporary, even though they say “stay as long as you want.” But according to experts, Why move out of the family home when you can stay there rent-free with meals included?

    For an entire year, this man:

    • Paid ZERO dollars toward bills, groceries, or household expenses
    • Did ZERO chores—leaving his sister to clean up after him like he’s a child
    • Spent his time playing mobile games and going on motorcycle rides with friends
    • Showed ZERO gratitude or effort to improve his situation

    First, figure out what you’re doing that enables the mooching—and stop it. Second, don’t make excuses for your kid’s neediness. Coddling and excuses encourage dependency; they’ll never help your child stand on his own feet financially.

    The Wife’s Role: When Enabling Becomes Destructive

    Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this entire situation is the wife’s behavior. Throughout the year, she:

    • Covered for her brother’s laziness
    • Did his chores for him
    • Made excuses for his behavior
    • And even after her brother’s negligence killed their dog, she STILL thought her husband was “too harsh”

    Enabling behaviors and denial play significant roles in perpetuating toxic family dynamics. Family members may unconsciously support harmful patterns through actions that shield the toxic individual from consequences, often rooted in a desire to maintain family harmony or avoid conflict.

    You have to stop enabling grown children. Why? If you read this article, you will understand that enabling them is not helping. It is in fact the opposite.

    The wife’s enabling behavior created an environment where her brother faced zero consequences for his actions. He had no incentive to change, no reason to contribute, and no motivation to move out. Why would he? He had free room and board, a personal maid service (his sister), and apparently, unconditional support no matter how badly he behaved.

    The Tragedy: When Carelessness Costs a Life

    And then came the night that changed everything.

    The BIL came home late. He parked his motorcycle. And he didn’t lock the gate.

    That one act of carelessness—the same carelessness he’d shown for an entire year—led to their 12-year-old dog escaping and being hit by a car.

    Anyone who’s ever loved a dog knows they’re not just pets. They’re companions who greet you at the door, comfort you when you’re sad, and become woven into the fabric of your daily life. Twelve years of memories, loyalty, and love—gone in an instant because someone couldn’t be bothered to lock a gate.

    But here’s where it gets even MORE infuriating.

    The Response That Broke the Camel’s Back

    Instead of being apologetic, remorseful, or even sympathetic, the BIL got ANGRY. He refused to take responsibility. He dismissed their grief with “shit happens.” And then—in what might be the most tone-deaf, callous response imaginable—he offered to “just buy them a new dog.”

    As if a living, breathing family member of 12 years can be replaced like a broken appliance.

    As if their grief doesn’t matter.

    As if he hasn’t been living rent-free in their home for a year without contributing a single dollar.

    That’s when OP finally snapped. And honestly? Most people would have snapped much sooner.

    What the Experts Say About Freeloading Family Members

    This situation is far from unique. Lots of families have one: a family freeloader. The adult child who still gets money from parents each month to make it… What brings this to a crisis point is that a parent’s health fails or a parent passes away.

    Licensed marriage and family therapist Angela Sitka explains that boundaries are “like a promise you make to yourself to take care of your own needs while interacting in your relationships,” she says.

    According to Psychology Today, It’s important to have healthy boundaries, regardless of whether or not others understand and accept them. Limiting time with toxic people is an act of self-love.

    Whether they’re in-laws, siblings or extended blood relatives, difficult family members can take a toll on your mental health and overall peace of mind. However, if you have a particularly difficult family member, it’s important to put healthy boundaries in place to protect your mental health and well-being.

    Experts note that The point is toxic people don’t want you to have boundaries because it’s harder to control someone who is not easily accessible to them. A toxic person lives for invading other people’s boundaries.

    Reddit’s Verdict: Absolutely NTA (Not The Ahole)**

    The Reddit community came out in OVERWHELMING support of OP. Let’s look at what commenters had to say:

    IamIrene wrote: “AITA for not considering my wife’s feelings first? Why isn’t she considering your feelings? Why does her brother seem to have priority in your home?? That’s not okay. NTA. He didn’t get his act together within 3 months. It’s my guess he never planned to until he was forced to. The whole not contributing anything to your household is just such gross, entitled behavior. Good on you for finally taking care of business. I’m so sorry about your dog. :\”

    lonewolf369963 added: “Agreed. OP has been considerate towards his wife’s feelings for at least a year, hence letting the BIL live rent free. Honestly, she doesn’t have any grounds to be hurt or say anything to OP as her brother overstayed his welcome in the first place”

    Quiet_Moon2191 didn’t mince words: “She can leave too if she is so upset for her brother.”

    OldBroad1964 expressed what many were thinking: “Honestly, I’d kick out my bil to save his life. Because I’d want to throttle him.”

    KimB-booksncats-11 took it even further: “Want to? Someone would have to hold me back to stop me!!!”

    ebolainajar raised an excellent point: “Why is your wife not more upset about the dog? Or his attitude about letting the dog out? You can’t just replace a family member like it was nothing. He needed to go before but there’s no coming back from the dog thing now. He could have been contrite and apologetic, but he couldn’t even do that. On top on not paying any bills or doing any chores he can’t apologize for inadvertently hurting your dog?? Dude has to go.”

    ShortThunder5145 was blunt: “Seriously a family member that caused a situation like this would be dead to me.”

    DanielLCG addressed the marriage issue: “Your wife is TA. And a huge one at that. She is disrespectful to you and your home. Her brother should not be her priority. Her husband should come first, especially in your home. She’s nuts!”

    FacetiousTomato pointed out: “NTA and if my wife had a brother like that and kept covering for him we’d been in therapy or divorce, you need to be the priority not his stupid butt”

    obiy88 expressed sympathy: “NTA. He can’t take responsibility for shit. He’s as responsible as the driver for your sweet dog’s tragic death. I would’ve thrown him out right then and there with 0 remorse. ‘Buy another dog’, wtf. Disgusting. He does not deserve one bit of your kindness and generosity. So sorry for your loss 💌”

    MaraiDragorrak made an important distinction: “I’d say more responsible for the dog’s death than the driver. The driver most likely was just at the wrong place at the wrong time and if they’re a compassionate person are likely going through all sorts of complicated emotions trying to reconcile their role in killing someone’s beloved pet.”

    Apart-Ad-6518 summed it up: “NTA. So sorry about your dog. His attitude over that alone justifies kicking him out. He moved in saying he just needed ‘a few months’ until he was able to save enough money to rent his own place. It’s been a year, but he’s never once paid for bills, groceries, nothing. He doesn’t even do basic chores. I lost it. You weren’t too harsh. If anything you weren’t harsh enough”

    DirectAntique agreed: “OP was generous letting him stay for a year. I’d have kicked him out after 3 months.”

    One commenter even joked: dalealace wrote: “I’d tell him instead of ‘buying a new dog’ I was going to buy my wife a new brother.”

    The Bigger Picture: When Family Becomes Toxic

    This story highlights a painful reality that many people face: sometimes, family members can be the most toxic people in our lives.

    Some basic characteristics of toxic behavior are manipulation, blaming, lying, being judgmental, and rarely taking responsibility. Key strategies are setting boundaries, limiting contact, and not engaging in toxic interactions.

    Toxic family members are, at the core, abusive family members. Abuse can take many forms, including physical, sexual, and emotional. These family members are harmful, either intentionally or unintentionally. While anyone can cause harm from time to time, especially when they themselves are hurt, with a toxic family member, this is likely the norm and not the exception.

    One of the biggest signs of toxicity is the inability to take any kind of accountability, shares Morgan Pommells, MSW, RSW. A parent, sibling, or other family member may often place blame for anything that’s wrong on someone else—you, included.

    Sound familiar? The BIL refused to take any responsibility for the dog’s death, instead getting angry and dismissive.

    Should OP Have Talked to His Wife First?

    OP admits to feeling some guilt about not discussing the decision with his wife before kicking out her brother. He asks: “AITA for not considering my wife’s feelings first? A part of me feels that we should’ve talked about it first, but then I acted on my own out of anger.”

    But here’s the thing: OP had been considering his wife’s feelings for an ENTIRE YEAR. He bit his tongue through months of:

    • Watching his BIL contribute nothing
    • Seeing his wife enable her brother’s behavior
    • Living with someone who showed zero respect for their home
    • Tolerating laziness, entitlement, and ingratitude

    The dog’s death was simply the final straw in a long line of boundary violations. And even then, the BIL’s response showed such callous disregard that immediate action was warranted.

    As Reddit user Chloet5759 put it: “NTA – Your wife thinks you were too harsh!??? She has got to be kidding! He was responsible for your dog getting out resulting in the unthinkable (I’m so very sorry for your loss)!!! I give you so much credit for not physically throwing him and all his sh*t out!”

    The Marriage Question: Is This Relationship in Trouble?

    Perhaps the most concerning aspect of this entire situation is the wife’s continued defense of her brother even after his negligence killed their dog. This raises serious questions about the marriage and where her loyalties lie.

    Research has shown that setting and maintaining healthy boundaries can have numerous benefits. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, individuals with clear personal boundaries are less likely to burn out, experience psychological distress, and are more capable of managing interpersonal conflicts.

    Alas, toxic people rarely change their behavior, or want to. “They may lack self-awareness or respond with denial when confronted with their poor treatment of others,” she says.

    The question now is: Will the wife continue to enable her brother, or will she finally see that her husband—who has shown remarkable patience for an entire year—deserves to be her priority?

    What Happens Next?

    OP’s post ends with uncertainty. Will his marriage survive this? Will his wife choose her husband or her brother? Will she finally recognize that her enabling behavior has consequences?

    The Reddit community is rooting for OP to stand firm. As one commenter noted, if the wife can’t see her brother’s toxic behavior even after it resulted in the death of their beloved pet, then perhaps couples therapy—or even more drastic measures—might be necessary.

    The Takeaway: Lessons for Everyone

    This heartbreaking story serves as a powerful reminder of several important truths:

    1. “A few months” needs a concrete deadline—Get it in writing, set clear expectations, and establish what “getting back on your feet” actually means.
    2. Enabling behavior helps no one—By doing her brother’s chores and making excuses for him, the wife prevented him from facing the natural consequences of his actions and growing as a person.
    3. Boundaries aren’t cruel, they’re necessary—Setting boundaries isn’t just about protecting ourselves; it’s about fostering healthier relationships. When we set boundaries, we teach others how to treat us, but we also learn to respect the boundaries of others, leading to mutual respect and understanding.
    4. Your spouse should be your priority—Not extended family who disrespect your home and show no gratitude for your generosity.
    5. Grief is real and valid—Anyone who dismisses the loss of a beloved pet with “shit happens” and offers to “buy a new one” fundamentally doesn’t understand love, loyalty, or respect.
    6. Actions have consequences—The BIL’s year of freeloading might have been tolerated, but his negligence causing a death and his callous response to it crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed.

    The Final Word

    So, was OP the a**hole for kicking out his brother-in-law after a year of mooching culminated in the tragic death of their 12-year-old dog?

    The internet has spoken with a resounding NTA. If anything, OP showed remarkable restraint in tolerating the situation for as long as he did. The BIL had a year to get his act together, contribute to the household, and show basic respect and gratitude. He did none of those things. And when his carelessness led to tragedy, he couldn’t even muster an apology.

    As for the wife? She needs to take a long, hard look at her priorities and ask herself: Is enabling my brother worth losing my husband? Because that’s the path she’s on.

    What do YOU think? Was OP justified in immediately kicking out his brother-in-law, or should he have given him another chance despite everything? And more importantly—is this marriage salvageable if the wife continues to prioritize her brother over her husband? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

    This story was originally shared on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole community 8 months ago. The post received over 9,300 upvotes and 589 comments. All quotes have been reproduced as written by the original poster and commenters.

  • “If You Are My Friend Then You Will Answer Always”: Woman DESTROYS 15-Year Friendship After Friend Refuses to Be Her Live-In Therapist

    She called FIVE times a day and demanded sleepovers during her “monthly” mental health crises. When her best friend finally said no, the fallout was SHOCKING.

    The Original Post That Has Reddit DIVIDED:

    A 27-year-old woman recently turned to Reddit’s infamous r/AmItheAsshole forum with a question that has the internet absolutely FURIOUS—and not necessarily at her. The post, which has garnered over 200 upvotes and 155 comments, reveals a friendship dynamic so toxic that mental health experts are weighing in.

    Here’s what happened: After 15 years of friendship, one woman found herself at the center of an impossible demand. Her best friend, experiencing what she described as a “mental health crisis,” didn’t just ask for support—she demanded that her friend move in with her. Not for a night. Not even for a weekend. For an entire WEEK.

    The Full Story (And It Gets WORSE):

    The original poster (OP) shared her dilemma: “I (F27) have been best friends with someone for 15 years. She was going through a mental health crisis and asked me to stay the night (or even a week). I told her I’d hang out with her but couldn’t do sleepovers. She didn’t accept that, went to the hospital, and when she got back she kept pressuring me to stay overnight.”

    But wait—it gets even more intense. OP offered alternatives: hanging out in person, talking on the phone, being emotionally available. None of it was good enough. The friend’s response? Complete and total rejection, followed by cutting OP off entirely and branding her a “bad friend.”

    Now here’s where your blood will REALLY start to boil: This wasn’t a one-time emergency. In a comment that has Reddit absolutely SEETHING, OP revealed the truth: “This isn’t new for her. She goes through something like this at least once a month.”

    Yes, you read that correctly. ONCE A MONTH.

    The Bombshell Details That Change EVERYTHING:

    OP explained that before this incident, she was already spending nearly every day with her friend, either on the phone or hanging out. When she told her friend she needed space, the friend didn’t respect that boundary and kept calling at least five times a day.

    The friend’s chilling response when OP asked for breathing room? “If you are my friend then you will answer always.”

    Let that sink in. ALWAYS. No boundaries. No personal life. No mental health considerations for OP herself. Just complete and total availability, 24/7, or you’re labeled a terrible person.

    Reddit user moo-chu, a Top 1% Commenter, immediately recognized the pattern: “Is she seeing a psychiatrist? This sounds pretty identical to the behavior I’ve experienced with 2 different people with diagnosed BPD when they focused on me as their ‘favorite person’. It is absolutely exhausting to deal with and a feature of the condition.”

    What Mental Health Experts Say About This TOXIC Dynamic:

    According to mental health professionals, boundaries tend to be blurred in codependent friendships, and it’s common for both people to lose their sense of self as the friendship becomes more intertwined on all levels.

    Being designated as someone’s “favorite person” can feel exhausting—they may feel pressured to give up other interests or relationships to make their partner happy, and it’s common for them to feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells.

    Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice, PsyD, LPC, offers this advice: “You can ask for more space, while acknowledging how long you’ll be away, you can talk openly about how you both should live well-balanced lives, and you can support your friend in finding additional resources to be successful.”

    But here’s the kicker: While someone who’s not used to setting boundaries might feel guilty or selfish when they first start, setting boundaries is necessary for mental health and wellbeing.

    The Comments Section EXPLODED:

    Reddit user SteveJobsPenis (yes, really) delivered a comment so savage it deserves its own article: “You are her emotional support animal but have made the mistake of trying to have agency and your own needs. Look it at that way, she doesn’t recognise you have emotional needs and your own mental health, she just recognises you soothe her and doesn’t care what the cost is for you.”

    OUCH. But is it wrong?

    Another user, glassfury, didn’t hold back: “She sounds exhausting. You shouldn’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm, and her demands on you make her not a good friend.”

    The top-voted comment from EmptyPomegranete perfectly captured what everyone was thinking: After OP revealed this was a monthly occurrence with five daily phone calls, the commenter advised adding this crucial information to the main post, noting that “all these people aggressively telling you off for not ‘giving up one night’ need to hear it.”

    The Shocking Backstory That Explains SO MUCH:

    In another comment, OP dropped an absolute BOMB: Her friend had been living with her mother until about six months ago. When the mother—the friend’s main support system—asked for privacy and time to herself, the friend’s response was to… get kicked out.

    OP wrote: “She lived with her mom up until about six months ago, and her mom was her main support system. But when her mom asked for privacy and time to herself, she kicked her out. Since then, I think she’s been trying to lean on me for support.”

    Even her OWN MOTHER couldn’t handle the constant demands. Let that sink in.

    Why This Story Has Everyone RAGING:

    One young person who learned to set boundaries with a struggling friend explained: “I realised that setting boundaries in friendships doesn’t mean not being there, or being a bad friend, it simply means putting your mental health first, which everyone needs to do sometimes.”

    Mental health advocates stress that it is extremely unfair if you are the only one hearing the struggles of a friend, as it creates an unhealthy dynamic in which one person feels pressured to always be there and support them.

    Reddit user Sweaty_Knee_7425 delivered the harsh truth many were thinking: “If she is a danger to herself or others she needs PROFESSIONAL help. You are not equipped to be someone’s crisis stabilization… I have lost too many people to suicide to think it’s cute for someone to use it as a way to get attention or sympathy.”

    The Verdict? Reddit Says NTA (Not The Ahole)—But With Important Caveats:**

    User Permit-Extreme-117, a Top 1% Commenter, summarized it perfectly: “She basically wants a full time carer, on call, to be her emotional support accessory. She was taking over your whole life and this would’ve just made that worse. It clearly isn’t helpful for her either if this is ongoing. She needs professional help.”

    Another commenter, lelawes, identified the pattern: “Based on your comments, it sounds like this is a regular occurrence and that she has latched onto you as her safe person, or favourite person… You can’t be the only support for someone who is regularly in crisis. You can’t take that on yourself.”

    The Update That Nobody Saw Coming:

    Four months later, OP revealed the friendship is still over. Her former friend has ignored every text she’s sent. The woman who demanded unconditional, round-the-clock support has completely ghosted the person who spent 15 years trying to be there for her.

    OP’s reflection? “I needed validation, I don’t think this situation should end our friendship.”

    But maybe—just maybe—it should have ended a long time ago.

    The REAL Question Nobody’s Asking:

    Here’s what’s truly infuriating about this story: Where were the other friends? Where was the professional help? Mental health experts note that the unstable relationships often associated with certain conditions can lead to a cycle of idealization and devaluation, which can be emotionally exhausting for friends, making it essential to establish healthy boundaries.

    This wasn’t friendship. This was emotional hostage-taking.

    What YOU Need to Know If This Sounds Familiar:

    Mental health professionals emphasize that as adults, we must take care of ourselves first, and self-care is the foundation of health, while putting others’ needs before our own is a characteristic of codependency that can lead to burnout.

    If you’re in a similar situation:

    • You are NOT a therapist
    • You are NOT required to answer “always”
    • You are NOT responsible for someone else’s mental health
    • Setting boundaries does NOT make you a bad friend

    The Bottom Line:

    This story has Reddit divided not because people think OP was wrong—overwhelmingly, they don’t. They’re divided because it reveals an uncomfortable truth: Mental health struggles are real and deserve compassion, BUT they don’t give anyone the right to completely consume another person’s life.

    The friend didn’t need a sleepover. She needed professional help. And the fact that she cut off a 15-year friendship over one boundary tells you everything you need to know about who the real “bad friend” was.

    What do YOU think? Was OP wrong to refuse? Or was the friend’s demand completely out of line? Sound off in the comments!

    If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please contact a mental health professional. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 988.

  • “He’s HERE More Than SHE Is!” Roommate’s Freeloading Boyfriend Sparks EXPLOSIVE Rent War—Reddit Erupts Over Who’s REALLY Wrong

    When “just visiting” becomes “basically living here,” one fed-up roommate draws a line in the sand—and the internet has THOUGHTS

    Picture this: You come home from a long day at work, exhausted and ready to collapse on your couch. But wait—someone’s already there. It’s not your roommate. It’s her boyfriend. Again. For the fifth night in a row. He’s eating YOUR food, using YOUR stuff, and acting like he owns the place. Oh, and he’s not paying a single cent in rent.

    Sound like a nightmare? For one Reddit user, this isn’t a hypothetical—it’s her daily reality. And when she finally spoke up about it, her roommate accused her of being “jealous” and “controlling.” Now the internet is LOSING IT over who’s actually in the wrong.

    The Original Post That Has Everyone Talking

    Posted to Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole community just days ago, user Conscious-Data-3092 laid out a situation that has struck a nerve with thousands of readers. Here’s what she wrote:

    “Crazy things are happening they say, but maybe this might not be really crazy. I share an apartment with my roommate. We’ve been friends for a few years now and decided to live together last year to save money. Everything was fine at first, we laugh and have fun like newly Weds. Calm down don’t think any bad thing (laughs..)but over the past few months, her boyfriend has been over constantly. Like… he’s here more than she is.

    He doesn’t just stay the night once or twice a week. He leaves clothes here, showers here, eats food from the fridge (that I bought), and even uses my stuff sometimes. When I get home from work, half the time oga is comfortably relaxed on the couch watching TV.

    I couldn’t take it anymore so I brought it up to my roommate, and I tried to be calm about it. I said , ‘Babe, I’ve noticed your guy is basically here all the time. I’m not comfortable with that, especially since he’s not contributing to rent or utilities.’

    My roomie got defensive and said, ‘Well, he’s my boyfriend, and it shouldn’t matter if he’s around a lot.’ Wow so it’s me that don’t have a boyfriend right? I told her it does matter because I’m not comfortable again and since she’s mostly not at home due to the nature of her work, I’m at the losing end, all bills are on me.

    I even offered a compromise: either he starts pitching in for rent/utilities, or he needs to limit how much time he spends here. I thought that was pretty fair right? But no she blew up and accused me of being controlling and ‘jealous.’ Which is far from it, because I literally just want a fair living arrangement.

    Now she’s barely speaking to me .But to me, it is a big deal, because this isn’t what I signed up for when I agreed to split rent with one person, not one person plus her boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn’t inconvenient her, so her’s shouldn’t.

    Please people, am I at fault?”

    Let that sink in. This woman is essentially subsidizing her roommate’s boyfriend’s living expenses while HE gets to enjoy all the perks of an apartment he doesn’t pay for. The audacity!

    Reddit’s Verdict: NTA (Not The Ahole) — And They’re NOT Holding Back**

    The response was swift and overwhelming. With 134 upvotes and counting, the post ignited a firestorm of support for the original poster. Redditors came out swinging with advice, validation, and some seriously creative solutions.

    Top commenter Odd_Tea4945 laid it out plainly:

    “NTA. Her boyfriend has nothing to do at your place when your roommate is not there, period. What you are asking is FAIR. What she demands is not fair.”

    This comment alone captures the essence of what makes this situation so infuriating. The boyfriend isn’t just visiting his girlfriend—he’s treating the apartment like his personal crash pad, even when his actual girlfriend isn’t there!

    User vaisatriani echoed the sentiment:

    “NTA. Her boyfriend has zero business being in your place when she is not there.”

    And 333again took it even further:

    “This, if she isn’t there tell him to GTFO.”

    The message is clear: Reddit has zero tolerance for freeloading boyfriends who overstay their welcome.

    What The Experts Say: Why Boundaries Matter MORE Than You Think

    This isn’t just about money or space—it’s about something psychologists call “boundary violations,” and they can seriously damage your mental health.

    According to licensed psychotherapist Becca Jacobs, LCSW, at The NYC Therapy Center, “When we keep our emotions bottled up inside of us, it stores tension in our bodies,” leading to physical and emotional strain. “Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and put a strain on the living environment for all parties.”

    In other words, by NOT speaking up sooner, the original poster was actually harming herself. And now that she has spoken up, her roommate’s defensive reaction is making things worse.

    Research on roommate conflicts emphasizes that “it’s crucial to discuss and agree upon boundaries and expectations” including “chores, study times, guests, and noise levels.” Having these mutual understandings from the start “can prevent many conflicts.”

    But what happens when those boundaries are repeatedly crossed? Studies show that negative roommate relationships can lead to “changes in anxiety and stress levels, sleep, and concentration,” with differences in communication styles impeding conflict resolution.

    This is EXACTLY what’s happening in this situation. The original poster tried to communicate calmly and reasonably, but her roommate shut her down with accusations of jealousy. Classic deflection!

    The Legal Reality: Your Roommate’s Boyfriend Might Be Breaking The Law

    Here’s where things get even more interesting. What many people don’t realize is that having an unofficial third person living in your apartment could actually violate your lease agreement—and put BOTH roommates at risk of eviction.

    According to Texas Law Help, “Your lease might have a section that states how long a guest is allowed to stay. If your guest won’t leave, you could be in violation of your lease. If you don’t remedy the situation, your landlord could terminate your lease and evict everybody that lives there.”

    Think about that. The roommate who’s defending her boyfriend’s right to basically live there rent-free could be putting BOTH of them in jeopardy of losing their home entirely!

    Legal experts note that “Even if co-tenants agree to split rent, they each remain liable for the entire amount of rent due.” This means if the boyfriend’s presence causes any issues with the landlord, the original poster could be held financially responsible even though she’s the one who objected!

    Reddit’s Most SAVAGE (And Hilarious) Solutions

    While most commenters offered practical advice, some got delightfully creative with their suggestions for making the boyfriend uncomfortable enough to leave on his own.

    User catladyclub proposed a brilliant counter-move:

    “Get a fake girlfriend, give her a key and let her be there when you are not there. Make sure she is super hot and there with roommates BF is there alone. Let her be there alllll of the time, more than her BF. Have her wear skimpy clothes. Let’s see how she likes it!”

    The idea of fighting fire with fire clearly resonated with readers, but another commenter took it to a whole new level.

    TAforScranton suggested a multi-pronged approach to make the boyfriend’s stay as uncomfortable as possible:

    “OP already has a boyfriend. I think they should team up and make it as uncomfortable as possible for homeboy while he’s there without her.

    • Turn off the air
    • Run around naked, perhaps some loud sex?
    • Figure out how to turn off the water to the unit if possible
    • Change the wifi password. Create a guest access option and give that to your roommate. Don’t share the main password with her. Turn off the guest access while he’s there.
    • Do you have a living room TV? Put a pin on all the streaming services.
    • Write ‘NOT FOR (his name)!!!’ on all your groceries.
    • And this one is oddly specific but I’m only mentioning it because I had a roommate that did this and it made me want to leave anytime they were home: SING. SING ALL THE TIME.”

    While these suggestions are obviously tongue-in-cheek (and potentially escalatory), they highlight just how frustrated people get when dealing with boundary-violating roommates and their partners.

    The Money Talk: Why “It’s Just My Boyfriend” Doesn’t Cut It

    Let’s talk numbers, because this is where the roommate’s argument completely falls apart.

    Commenter Negative-Match3082 broke it down perfectly:

    “You didn’t sign up to subsidize her boyfriend. If he’s basically living there, he should be paying rent and utilities otherwise, he needs to limit his time. Your boundary is fair, and her calling you ‘jealous’ is just deflection.”

    When you have an extra person living in an apartment, costs go up. Water bills increase. Electricity usage rises. Internet bandwidth gets consumed. Food disappears faster. And let’s not even get started on the wear and tear on furniture and appliances.

    The original poster mentions that she’s buying food that the boyfriend eats. That’s HER money going into HIS stomach. How is that fair?

    User starbunbunny summed it up:

    “You’re literally asking for basic roommate boundaries. If he’s living there half the time, eating your food, using your stuff, he should either pitch in or chill at his place.”

    The math is simple: If there are three people living in the apartment but only two people paying rent, someone is getting ripped off. And that someone is the original poster.

    What Psychologists Say About The “Jealous” Accusation

    The roommate’s accusation that the original poster is “jealous” is particularly manipulative, and mental health professionals have a lot to say about this tactic.

    Psychotherapist Becca Jacobs emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries: “When we are able to show up for ourselves, we can actually show up better for others, and enhance healthy connections.”

    The accusation of jealousy is a classic deflection technique designed to make the person raising legitimate concerns feel guilty or unreasonable. It shifts the focus from the actual problem (the boyfriend’s constant presence and lack of financial contribution) to an imagined emotional issue (jealousy).

    Research on healthy boundaries shows that “maintaining healthy boundaries can help you strengthen relationships, avoid unhealthy connections, and improve your self-esteem and overall well-being.” Without them, “your relationships can become toxic and unsatisfying and your well-being can suffer. You might feel taken advantage of.”

    That last part is key: “feel taken advantage of.” Because that’s exactly what’s happening here. The original poster IS being taken advantage of, and her roommate is gaslighting her into thinking she’s the problem.

    The Nuclear Option: What Happens Next?

    Several commenters suggested more drastic measures if the roommate refuses to compromise.

    Rowan-The-Writer advised:

    “Just contact your landlord or property manager or whatever their title is. Most leases have a rule about guests staying overnight too much and such.”

    HelpfulnessStew agreed:

    “This! My first thought was, ‘Does the landlord know?’”

    This is actually solid advice. Most lease agreements have specific clauses about guests and additional occupants. If the boyfriend is there more nights than not, he’s likely crossed the threshold from “guest” to “unauthorized occupant.”

    User Sea-Leadership-8053 took it even further:

    “Yep call the landlord and let them know that he’s staying there 24/7 he’s not on the lease he’s not contributing to the bills and you want to be sure the landlord is aware of this so that you don’t get in trouble.”

    The beauty of this approach is that it takes the conflict out of the roommate relationship and puts it where it belongs: with the landlord, who has the legal authority to enforce the lease terms.

    But Mission-SelfLOVE2024 offered the most sobering reality check:

    “You are going to have to move out. I would say end the friendship, but the friendship is over. Now she has turned into your roommate who is taking advantage and messing with your money. Accept the change and move accordingly.”

    This commenter went on to share their own experience with roommate agreements that worked: “When I had roommates, we had an agreement of 2 nights a week max or they had to pay rent in an equal share to everyone else, and it had to be approved beforehand by all roommates unanimously. Also, if someone had a problem with the vote for their boyfriend, they had to be the one to move out. It worked for 3 years.”

    The Practical Solutions: What Should Actually Happen Here

    While the creative revenge tactics are entertaining, let’s talk about realistic solutions that could actually resolve this situation.

    1. Lock Up Your Food

    Multiple commenters suggested this immediate fix. User CakePhool asked: “By the way, what is he eating that is yours? Can you get a fridge or lockbox for your food?”

    User Paevatar expanded on this:

    “Lock up your food in your bedroom and buy a compact refrigerator. Let your roommate figure out how to feed him.”

    This is a temporary solution that at least stops the boyfriend from literally eating into your budget.

    2. Check Your Lease and Involve the Landlord

    As mentioned earlier, most leases have guest policies. User Paevatar advised: “Check your lease agreement. Does your lease allow more than 2 people? Is there a limit on the amount of time guests can stay? If not, call the landlord and let them take care of it.”

    3. Stop Paying Your Share Until It’s Resolved

    User Successful_Image3354 suggested a bold move: “Just stop paying. Keep your food in your room. Lock the door to your room when you’re gone.”

    While this is risky (since you could damage your credit or face eviction), it does send a clear message that you’re not willing to subsidize a third person’s living expenses.

    4. Establish a Formal Roommate Agreement

    User bopperbopper laid out exactly what to say:

    “‘Hey roommate… I noticed your partner is essentially living here rent free. This is causing our expenses to increase and they’re also eating my food sometimes and they’re just always here.. either your roommate needs to pay 1/3 the rent, continue to clean up after themselves and not eat any of my food or I need to talk to the landlord about you having an extra tenant in here which is not acceptable under our lease.’”

    This approach is direct, specific, and gives clear options for resolution.

    Why This Story Resonates: We’ve ALL Been There

    The reason this post has blown up isn’t just because it’s dramatic—it’s because it’s relatable. Almost everyone who’s ever had a roommate has dealt with some version of this problem.

    Maybe it wasn’t a boyfriend who overstayed his welcome. Maybe it was a roommate who never cleaned, or who had loud parties, or who “borrowed” things without asking. But the core issue is the same: What happens when someone you’re living with violates the basic social contract of shared living?

    Research on roommate conflicts shows that when harmony-maintaining modes of conflict resolution (like avoiding confrontation) are used, they are “less effective than an explicit mode in producing satisfying roommate relations. Less satisfying roommate relations led, in turn, to a lower sense of belonging in the university environment and more psychological distress.”

    In other words, by trying to keep the peace and not rock the boat, the original poster was actually making things worse for herself. The research shows that direct, explicit communication—even when uncomfortable—is the most effective way to resolve roommate conflicts.

    The Bigger Picture: Respect, Fairness, and Standing Up For Yourself

    At its core, this story isn’t really about rent money or utility bills or stolen food. It’s about respect.

    The roommate’s boyfriend doesn’t respect the original poster’s space or belongings. The roommate doesn’t respect her friend’s reasonable boundaries or financial concerns. And by accusing her of being “jealous,” the roommate is showing that she doesn’t respect her friend’s right to feel comfortable in her own home.

    Mental health experts emphasize that “setting healthy boundaries is an important aspect of great self-care” and self-care overall.

    The original poster did everything right. She waited to see if the situation would resolve itself. When it didn’t, she brought it up calmly and respectfully. She offered reasonable compromises. And when her roommate refused to budge, she reached out for outside perspective.

    The Final Verdict

    Reddit’s judgment was unanimous: NTA (Not The A**hole). The original poster is 100% in the right to expect that her living arrangement remain what she signed up for—a two-person apartment split between two people.

    Her roommate’s boyfriend can visit. He can stay over occasionally. But when he’s there more than the actual tenant, eating food he didn’t buy, using utilities he doesn’t pay for, and making himself at home when his girlfriend isn’t even there? That’s not visiting. That’s living there. And if he’s living there, he needs to pay rent.

    The roommate’s refusal to acknowledge this basic fairness—and her attempt to manipulate the situation by accusing her friend of jealousy—shows that this friendship may already be beyond repair.

    As one commenter wisely noted, sometimes the best solution is to recognize when a living situation (and a friendship) has run its course and make plans to move on.

    What do YOU think? Is the original poster being unreasonable, or is her roommate completely out of line? Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

    This article is based on a real Reddit post from r/AmItheAsshole. Names and identifying details have been kept as posted by the original user.

  • Woman Discovers Boyfriend Has Been LYING About Having a Job for Nearly a YEAR—Then He Has the AUDACITY to Get Mad at HER

    “He got a new phone and stopped sharing his location with me”—the red flags were EVERYWHERE

    Picture this: You’re in a committed relationship. You trust your partner. You believe they’re working hard, building a future. But something feels… off. The texts come later. The location doesn’t match up. And when you finally confront them, they’ve been lying to your face for almost an entire year.

    This is the nightmare one Reddit user is living through right now, and the internet is absolutely FURIOUS on her behalf.

    The Original Post That Has Everyone SEETHING

    The woman, posting in the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit, laid out her story in heartbreaking detail:

    “My boyfriend used to have a stable job, and I always thought he was working long hours. Over time, I noticed he started texting me later in the mornings and his location was usually at home, not work. When I asked him about it, he said he and his coworkers were working on a project and looking for financial sponsors, so I let it go. But months went by and whenever I asked again, he would say the project was ‘almost starting.’ Eventually, he even got a new phone and stopped sharing his location with me. It’s been nearly a year of him saying the same thing. I finally confronted him and asked why he doesn’t just get another job. He got mad and said I can’t understand because I have a fixed-salary job, and his work as a tradesman is different. I told him if that’s how he feels, why can’t he just take a steady job like mine. We ended up arguing. I don’t actually care if he works right now because I can support myself, but I feel like he’s lying to me and hiding the truth. AITA for being upset and confronting him?”

    Let that sink in. Nearly. A. YEAR. Of deliberate, calculated deception. And when she finally calls him out? HE gets angry at HER.

    The Lying: It’s Not About the Job, It’s About the BETRAYAL

    One of the hardest parts of healing from betrayal is uncovering and dealing with the lies and manipulation, according to Licensed Professional Counselor Michelle Mays, an expert in treating betrayal and trauma. When your partner lies to you, it creates a sense that you cannot know what reality is. You cannot believe that what they say to you is true, authentic, and real. As a result, trust, the foundation of secure bonding, is lost.

    And that’s EXACTLY what happened here. This woman didn’t care about the unemployment itself—she explicitly said she could support herself. What she cared about was the systematic dishonesty that eroded every ounce of trust in their relationship.

    Betrayal might stem from someone consistently lying about their actions or intentions, undermining the foundation of trust built between you both, according to relationship experts at Couples Learn.

    Reddit EXPLODES: “He Lied to Your Face Every Day for MONTHS”

    The comments section turned into an absolute firestorm, with thousands of users rallying behind the original poster and demanding she leave this manipulative partner immediately.

    Casual_Lore didn’t mince words:

    “Nta. He lied…to your face…for months. Why on earth are you still with someone who treats you that way? He didn’t come clean until confronted and then tried to make you the ah for expecting honesty? Uh, no. You are nta, but you will be to yourself if you stay with him.”

    Starblushh cut straight to the heart of the issue:

    “You’re not the asshole. The issue isn’t him being jobless, it’s him lying for a year and dodging your questions. If he can’t be honest about something this big, that’s a way bigger red flag than not having a paycheck.”

    And when the original poster responded, her pain was palpable:

    “Yes that’s why I am upset, I wouldn’t care if he just told me that he was unemployed, I would try my best to support him in every was possible. But he just chose to lie to me.”

    Peachesbaby89 summed up what everyone was thinking:

    “Youre not wrong for being upset the real issue here isn’t that he’s unemployed, it’s that he’s been dishonest with you for almost a year. Relationships need trust and communication, and hiding something this big erodes that. It’s reasonable to expect honesty, even if the truth is uncomfortable, and you had every right to confront him about it.”

    The Tradesman Excuse That Makes NO SENSE

    Let’s talk about his defense for a moment, because it’s absolutely INFURIATING. He claimed he’s been “working on a project” and “looking for financial sponsors” for nearly a year. Then when confronted, he had the nerve to say she “can’t understand” because she has a “fixed-salary job” and his work as a tradesman is “different.”

    BlackStarCorona, who actually WORKS in the trades, called out this nonsense immediately:

    “NTA. I’ve worked trades. Slow seasons and off seasons are BRUTAL financially and very stressful. Most of us know a guy who knows a guy and we can almost always find side work, so it’s surprising to me that he’s ‘waiting on funding’ for this ‘project.’ I literally professionally hung Christmas lights for three months because my trade was in a super slow part of the year and a paycheck is a paycheck.”

    dewprisms added:

    “Yep. And to your point, the issue is usually seasonal, not all year long. Most people I know in industries like that, including teachers, have plans in place for the slow/off season just like you explained.”

    So even people IN THE TRADES are saying his excuse is complete garbage. He could have found SOMETHING—anything—to contribute. But instead, he chose to lie, manipulate, and gaslight his girlfriend for months on end.

    The Psychological Toll of Being Lied To

    Lies disrupt the core of the relationship, making one partner question everything they thought was true. This can trigger a range of emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness, and insecurity—that may not dissipate quickly.

    Lying represents a form of betrayal that inflicts deep emotional anguish on the partner who has been betrayed. The sentiment of betrayal can be overpowering, and the pain inflicted by the deceit can prove difficult to surmount. The emotional injuries might require time to heal, and the wounded partner might grapple with rebuilding relationship trust.

    And here’s the kicker: Hiding problems from the person you love almost always creates even more issues.

    The Comments Keep Getting WORSE

    Realistic_Head4279 laid it out plainly:

    “NTA. Your boyfriend IS ‘lying and hiding’ the truth from you. Doesn’t sound like a very good basis for a relationship. Beware. You do deserve honesty and should insist on it. There’s no good future with someone you can’t trust to be open and honest with you.”

    allergymom74 asked the question everyone’s thinking:

    “NTA. But why is he still a bf? He lies. Constantly. What else is he lying about? Can you ever trust him again? What else is he lying about?”

    Anonymous_Sad_Person didn’t hold back:

    “NTA – it looks like you didn’t get mad at him for not having a job, you got mad at him for lying to you about it for a FUCKING YEAR. Honestly, cut your losses and dump him. He’s shown you that he will lie to you for long stretches of time, which is a massive red flag. Someone like that isn’t long-term relationship material.”

    krissab23 asked the most important question:

    “Lying about having a job is such a huge red flag for me NTA”

    What the Experts Say About Unemployment Deception

    For most people, unemployment is an existential crisis, says Jonathan Shippey, a Master Certified Gottman Therapist. But during a time when the two people need each other more than ever, all too often the stress can pit them against each other.

    But here’s the thing: The most important thing is to continue to share feelings. Continue to let your partner be on the journey with you, according to Shippey. This boyfriend did the EXACT OPPOSITE. He shut her out, lied repeatedly, and then got angry when she dared to ask for honesty.

    Unemployment affects not only the subjective well-being of the individual, but also that of the partner, according to research published in academic journals on relationship dynamics.

    The Location Sharing Detail That Makes It WORSE

    Can we talk about how he got a NEW PHONE specifically to stop sharing his location? That’s not just lying—that’s premeditated deception. He actively took steps to make sure she couldn’t catch him in his lies. That’s manipulation on a whole different level.

    The Verdict: NTA—And GET OUT

    The overwhelming consensus from thousands of Reddit users? She’s Not The Asshole, and she needs to RUN, not walk, away from this relationship.

    La-matya-vin kept it simple:

    “NTA trust is gone”

    Morganwerk summed it up:

    “NTA. He lied to your face everyday for months.”

    shuckyducked was direct:

    “Dude, he’s full of lies. NTA.”

    greenhouse5 asked the million-dollar question:

    “NTA. How can you possibly trust him anymore now that you know he lies?”

    The Bottom Line

    This isn’t about unemployment. This isn’t about financial stress. This isn’t even about different work styles between tradesmen and salaried employees.

    This is about a man who looked his girlfriend in the eye every single day for nearly a year and lied to her. Who went so far as to get a new phone to hide his deception. Who, when finally confronted with the truth, had the audacity to get ANGRY at her for expecting basic honesty.

    Trust is often built over months and years, and one lie can threaten to undo that work in seconds.

    The question isn’t whether she’s the asshole for being upset. The question is: How much longer is she going to let this man disrespect her?

    What do YOU think? Would you stay with someone who lied to you for a year? Let us know in the comments!

    This article is based on a real Reddit post from r/AmItheAsshole. Names and identifying details have been kept anonymous to protect privacy.