She called FIVE times a day and demanded sleepovers during her “monthly” mental health crises. When her best friend finally said no, the fallout was SHOCKING.
The Original Post That Has Reddit DIVIDED:
A 27-year-old woman recently turned to Reddit’s infamous r/AmItheAsshole forum with a question that has the internet absolutely FURIOUS—and not necessarily at her. The post, which has garnered over 200 upvotes and 155 comments, reveals a friendship dynamic so toxic that mental health experts are weighing in.
Here’s what happened: After 15 years of friendship, one woman found herself at the center of an impossible demand. Her best friend, experiencing what she described as a “mental health crisis,” didn’t just ask for support—she demanded that her friend move in with her. Not for a night. Not even for a weekend. For an entire WEEK.
The Full Story (And It Gets WORSE):
The original poster (OP) shared her dilemma: “I (F27) have been best friends with someone for 15 years. She was going through a mental health crisis and asked me to stay the night (or even a week). I told her I’d hang out with her but couldn’t do sleepovers. She didn’t accept that, went to the hospital, and when she got back she kept pressuring me to stay overnight.”
But wait—it gets even more intense. OP offered alternatives: hanging out in person, talking on the phone, being emotionally available. None of it was good enough. The friend’s response? Complete and total rejection, followed by cutting OP off entirely and branding her a “bad friend.”
Now here’s where your blood will REALLY start to boil: This wasn’t a one-time emergency. In a comment that has Reddit absolutely SEETHING, OP revealed the truth: “This isn’t new for her. She goes through something like this at least once a month.”
Yes, you read that correctly. ONCE A MONTH.
The Bombshell Details That Change EVERYTHING:
OP explained that before this incident, she was already spending nearly every day with her friend, either on the phone or hanging out. When she told her friend she needed space, the friend didn’t respect that boundary and kept calling at least five times a day.
The friend’s chilling response when OP asked for breathing room? “If you are my friend then you will answer always.”
Let that sink in. ALWAYS. No boundaries. No personal life. No mental health considerations for OP herself. Just complete and total availability, 24/7, or you’re labeled a terrible person.
Reddit user moo-chu, a Top 1% Commenter, immediately recognized the pattern: “Is she seeing a psychiatrist? This sounds pretty identical to the behavior I’ve experienced with 2 different people with diagnosed BPD when they focused on me as their ‘favorite person’. It is absolutely exhausting to deal with and a feature of the condition.”
What Mental Health Experts Say About This TOXIC Dynamic:
According to mental health professionals, boundaries tend to be blurred in codependent friendships, and it’s common for both people to lose their sense of self as the friendship becomes more intertwined on all levels.
Being designated as someone’s “favorite person” can feel exhausting—they may feel pressured to give up other interests or relationships to make their partner happy, and it’s common for them to feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells.
Talkspace therapist Meaghan Rice, PsyD, LPC, offers this advice: “You can ask for more space, while acknowledging how long you’ll be away, you can talk openly about how you both should live well-balanced lives, and you can support your friend in finding additional resources to be successful.”
But here’s the kicker: While someone who’s not used to setting boundaries might feel guilty or selfish when they first start, setting boundaries is necessary for mental health and wellbeing.
The Comments Section EXPLODED:
Reddit user SteveJobsPenis (yes, really) delivered a comment so savage it deserves its own article: “You are her emotional support animal but have made the mistake of trying to have agency and your own needs. Look it at that way, she doesn’t recognise you have emotional needs and your own mental health, she just recognises you soothe her and doesn’t care what the cost is for you.”
OUCH. But is it wrong?
Another user, glassfury, didn’t hold back: “She sounds exhausting. You shouldn’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm, and her demands on you make her not a good friend.”
The top-voted comment from EmptyPomegranete perfectly captured what everyone was thinking: After OP revealed this was a monthly occurrence with five daily phone calls, the commenter advised adding this crucial information to the main post, noting that “all these people aggressively telling you off for not ‘giving up one night’ need to hear it.”
The Shocking Backstory That Explains SO MUCH:
In another comment, OP dropped an absolute BOMB: Her friend had been living with her mother until about six months ago. When the mother—the friend’s main support system—asked for privacy and time to herself, the friend’s response was to… get kicked out.
OP wrote: “She lived with her mom up until about six months ago, and her mom was her main support system. But when her mom asked for privacy and time to herself, she kicked her out. Since then, I think she’s been trying to lean on me for support.”
Even her OWN MOTHER couldn’t handle the constant demands. Let that sink in.
Why This Story Has Everyone RAGING:
One young person who learned to set boundaries with a struggling friend explained: “I realised that setting boundaries in friendships doesn’t mean not being there, or being a bad friend, it simply means putting your mental health first, which everyone needs to do sometimes.”
Mental health advocates stress that it is extremely unfair if you are the only one hearing the struggles of a friend, as it creates an unhealthy dynamic in which one person feels pressured to always be there and support them.
Reddit user Sweaty_Knee_7425 delivered the harsh truth many were thinking: “If she is a danger to herself or others she needs PROFESSIONAL help. You are not equipped to be someone’s crisis stabilization… I have lost too many people to suicide to think it’s cute for someone to use it as a way to get attention or sympathy.”
The Verdict? Reddit Says NTA (Not The Ahole)—But With Important Caveats:**
User Permit-Extreme-117, a Top 1% Commenter, summarized it perfectly: “She basically wants a full time carer, on call, to be her emotional support accessory. She was taking over your whole life and this would’ve just made that worse. It clearly isn’t helpful for her either if this is ongoing. She needs professional help.”
Another commenter, lelawes, identified the pattern: “Based on your comments, it sounds like this is a regular occurrence and that she has latched onto you as her safe person, or favourite person… You can’t be the only support for someone who is regularly in crisis. You can’t take that on yourself.”
The Update That Nobody Saw Coming:
Four months later, OP revealed the friendship is still over. Her former friend has ignored every text she’s sent. The woman who demanded unconditional, round-the-clock support has completely ghosted the person who spent 15 years trying to be there for her.
OP’s reflection? “I needed validation, I don’t think this situation should end our friendship.”
But maybe—just maybe—it should have ended a long time ago.
The REAL Question Nobody’s Asking:
Here’s what’s truly infuriating about this story: Where were the other friends? Where was the professional help? Mental health experts note that the unstable relationships often associated with certain conditions can lead to a cycle of idealization and devaluation, which can be emotionally exhausting for friends, making it essential to establish healthy boundaries.
This wasn’t friendship. This was emotional hostage-taking.
What YOU Need to Know If This Sounds Familiar:
Mental health professionals emphasize that as adults, we must take care of ourselves first, and self-care is the foundation of health, while putting others’ needs before our own is a characteristic of codependency that can lead to burnout.
If you’re in a similar situation:
- You are NOT a therapist
- You are NOT required to answer “always”
- You are NOT responsible for someone else’s mental health
- Setting boundaries does NOT make you a bad friend
The Bottom Line:
This story has Reddit divided not because people think OP was wrong—overwhelmingly, they don’t. They’re divided because it reveals an uncomfortable truth: Mental health struggles are real and deserve compassion, BUT they don’t give anyone the right to completely consume another person’s life.
The friend didn’t need a sleepover. She needed professional help. And the fact that she cut off a 15-year friendship over one boundary tells you everything you need to know about who the real “bad friend” was.
What do YOU think? Was OP wrong to refuse? Or was the friend’s demand completely out of line? Sound off in the comments!
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please contact a mental health professional. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 988.
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